


Open your heart and let love in

by HaleyBuckley



Category: Aaron Dingle - Fandom, Emmerdale
Genre: Aaron moves on, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, PLEASE DONT READ!!!!, Smut, but if Aaron with someone else isn't your thing, this is in no way anti Robert or anti Robron
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:15:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21629719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaleyBuckley/pseuds/HaleyBuckley
Summary: It's been five years since Aaron got the divorce letter from his husband. Five years since his husband went to prison and cut all ties with him. Aaron's little daughter is the only light in the dark in Aaron's life when destiny makes him bump into a stranger more than just once. Can Aaron let go of the past and let his heart love again?
Relationships: Aaron Dingle & OMC, Aaron Dingle & Original Character(s)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 34





	1. The pain of the past

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is slightly AU. Robert got 38 years for murder. Aaron went through with the surrogacy without Robert, so he's having a little daughter. This is in no way anti Robert or anti Robron, but if Aaron with someone else is not your thing, please don't read. 
> 
> Also it's unbeta'd so there might be grammar mistakes and the tenses might be mixed up sometimes, I am sorry for that. I tried.

“Please muffin stop crying.“

Aaron softly tries to calm down his daughter who’s currently clinging onto him with thick teardrops running down her face.

“We’ll find Mister Bunny ok baby?!“

They’re walking down the aisle of the big supermarket the second time now in search of Mister Bunny. Ara insisted on taking the little plush bunny with them when they left for shopping this morning. Now she is sitting on Aaron’s hips crying her eyes out because she lost the bunny somewhere in the supermarket.

Aaron‘s struggling with the shopping bags and Ara just doesn’t stop crying.

There are sweat drops running down Aaron’s forehead and he’s got a splitting headache since he woke up this morning. Then nursery called that they couldn’t have Ara today because they were short of staff. So yeah it’s been a day so far and he secretly wishes he was back in bed.

The little girl keeps on crying and wriggles around in Aaron’s arms.

“I want Mister Bunny!“ The girl presses her face into his shoulder.

“Ara please.“

One of the shopping bags slips out of hands and falls to the floor with a loud thud. The shopping goods are spread all over the floor now.

“Gahhhh, come on.“ He curses.

Aaron bites his lip and puts Ara down on the floor so he can get the shopping back in the bag.

It really seems to be one of those days where he just wants to crawl back to bed and sleep.

He sighs and closes his eyes for a bit and pinches the bridge of his nose leaving red marks there.

“I promise you muffin we’ll find - “

Aaron turns around to find the shopping aisle empty. Only an older woman stands in front of the crisps shelf.

“Ara?“

He starts to panic.

He puts the other shopping bags on the floor and abandons them there running down the aisle.

“Ara? Where are you baby?“

He walks past the older woman looking at her with a worried face.

“Have you seen a little girl, five, brown hair, rainbow shirt and a red bow in her hair?“

The woman shakes her head.

Aaron’s breathing gets faster and he balls his hands into a fist. Fingernails digging into his palm.

He lost her, how could he lose her.

„ARA!“

He’s screaming now. Knows that he’s losing control.

The people he’s running past look at him shaking their heads.

Why aren’t they helping him. His girl is lost, probably scared. He just turned around for a second and now he couldn’t find her.

Tears start to swell in his eyes.

„ARA PLEASE WHERE ARE YOU?“

He has to stop and leans against one of the shelves to steady himself. His vision goes blurry and he knows he’s slipping into a panic attack. But he can’t have that now he needs to get a grip and find his daughter.

“Daddy!“

He turns around quickly and throws over some beer cans standing next to the shelve he’s leaning on.

“Ara oh my god.“

He starts running and falls to his knees in front of his little girl. His knees ache but he ignores the pain and looks up and down at the girl, making sure she’s not hurt or anything.

“Are you ok baby? What were you thinking running of like this, muffin.“

He blinks his tears away not wanting the little girl to see him being upset.

“Look Daddy!“

Ara waves her plush bunny in front of Aaron’s face.

“Where - “

Aaron looks to the left and just then realises that Ara is holding someone‘s hand.

He looks up and sees a blonde tall man standing next to his daughter.

Aaron rips Ara’s hand out of the man’s hand with a bit too much force and the man winces.

“What … who are you?“

He lifts the little girl up and takes a step back.

The stranger looks at him and puts his hands up in defence.

“Sorry but I saw her wandering around the aisle alone and I asked where her mummy was and she told me about her lost bunny and I saw someone give it to the cashier and I got it back for her and then we were looking for you.“ The man stutters, clearly being nervous.

Aaron softly pats Ara‘s head.

“What did I tell you about talking to strangers Ara!“

The man coughs awkwardly, not wanting interrupt them.

“She did say she isn’t allowed to talk to strangers.“

Aaron looks at the man again. It’s the first time he’s really looking at him. He’s tall and his blonde hair softly falling on the side. He’s got a kind smile on his face and his brown eyes look like tiny hazelnuts.

Looking at the man makes something ache in Aaron‘s chest and he lets out a deep breath.

“I didn’t mean any harm I promise. I work at the youth welfare service, I’m used to look out for kids. I really just wanted to help her.“

“The tall Mister got me my Mister Bunny back Daddy.“ The little girl giggles and presses her nose into Aaron’s cheek.

The stranger lifts his hand and gently nudges Aarons shoulder. „I’m sorry.“

Aaron shakes the other man’s hand off his shoulder and quickly turns around on his heels and walks away from the man without saying anything.

What was the man thinking taking Ara and touching him like this.

He leaves the shopping there and puts Ara in her car seat, driving home in a rush. He needs to order some food later because there’s nothing at home now and he left all the shopping there.

When they arrive at home he sits down his daughter in the living room with her favorite coloring book.

“Be a good girl for Daddy and color this for me yeah?“

He goes into the kitchen and throws some water in his face.

Why did the stranger make him run off like this. He just wanted to help.

Tiredly he lets himself fall on one of the kitchen chairs and he puts his head in his hands.

He was tired.

Some days were just so hard since **_he_** had left him.

Aaron looks over to the fridge where he’s kept his photo and the letter.

The letter.

On some days he can’t even look at it and on other days it’s all that keeps him going.

Some days he welcomes the pain, sometimes he doesn’t.

Aaron still remembers the day when his husband was sent down. He still can feel the pain of his heart shattering into pieces when the judge had said 38 years. In the prison visiting room it’s been the last time he’d seen him, looked into those beautiful green eyes, heard his voice. Robert made him promise to be happy. He said his goodbyes without Aaron knowing it was a goodbye. He’d been moved to another prison miles and miles away and Aaron didn’t know. 

Then a couple of days later there were two letters sitting in his letter box.

Robert wanted a divorce, wanted to set him free, because 38 years was a long time and Robert didn’t want Aaron to wait for him.

Aaron wanted to wait though and his husband just had made the decision for him.

He still remembers the anger and the pain he felt.

He remembers throwing off his wedding ring and smashing their wedding photo.

In his letter Robert wanted him to be happy, begged him to move on and live his life but how could he without him on his side. He needed his husband.

He would have waited forever.

He’d done anything for him.

He remembers the following endless months of him being drunk, finding that razor blade in the bathroom again.

Locking himself into the house till his Mum and Paddy had to call the police to kick in the door. They found him lying in the kitchen, unconscious, almost choking on his own vomit.  
That got him a four days hospital stay with everyone fussing over him and prescribed therapy sessions. 

They diagnosed him with depression and BPD. He has to take some pills for his mental illness. They help and he’s glad to know how to deal with it now.

Cain took him under his wing, even moved in for a bit to make sure he wouldn’t pull a stunt like this again. Liv had to leave for college and moved away. She only left when she knew Cain would stay with him.

She still calls him every day and visits when she can. He’s lucky really to have a sister like her. Then there’s also his other little sister Eve. Ara and Eve are best friends and it always makes him happy to see them run around together on the playground.

There was a time he thought he’d never smile again. Robert leaving him had broken him completely.

A couple of months later Aaron had a call from the surrogacy agency. In all the pain of losing his husband he’d forgotten about it. They’d started the surrogacy before Robert was charged, before their life was ripped apart. They had agreed to use Aarons sperm. Robert was obsessed with having another mini Aaron in the house. They found a woman who agreed to be their surrogate and things went ahead. Then Robert was sentenced and ripped out his life.

Aaron remembers Lia, their surrogate mother calling and yelling down the phone that she’s pregnant and so happy for him and his husband. Aaron hung up the phone and cried himself to sleep that night.

Lia came around the next day all upset and wanted to know what was happening. He broke down in her arms telling her everything.

It was up to his therapist and the support of his family and a baby scan photo that he still went through with the surrogacy and he became good friends with Lia who involved him in every step of her pregnancy.

First it hurt Aaron to think about having the baby without his husband but in that bump was his child, his son or daughter and he already felt so much love for it.

The moment he held Ara Abigail, that’s the name Robert and he had chosen if they ever had a girl and he still wanted to name her that, in his arms for the first time is one of the happiest memories he has.

It took him a bit to get used to being a father and doing it without Robert. But from day to day he felt more confident and Ara was a really easy baby, helping him where she could.

He’d tried to contact Robert again to tell him about Ara, to tell him how much he misses him. He sent him pictures of him and Ara every month. Every single letter comes back unopened.

After over two years had passed and still no reaction from Robert, Aaron signed the divorce papers and sent them back to his solicitor. He had another drunken banter that night and woke up to Ara standing next to his bed stroking his head softly begging him to wake up. That’s when he promised himself to stop being this mess and being the father Ara deserves.

With time and more counselling sessions he made his peace with Robert leaving him. He gets why he did it but it doesn’t fully take away the pain. He had to accept it though because Robert didn’t leave him any other choice.

Sometimes the anger still bubbles up, sometimes he just cries and sometimes he looks at his girl and is happy.

He’s happy at where he is now, with Ara, his house, work and his family. That’s what he’s concentrating on. That’s what is important.

He still tells Ara about Robert sometimes and the pain seems to lessen. But he’ll forever have this Robert shaped hole in his heart. It doesn’t sting that often anymore though.

He also still has bad days sometimes but then he knows what to do and where to go.

“Daddy look I gave the dwarf brown hair and he looks just like you.“

Ara’s standing next to him, shoving her coloring book into his lap.

Aaron blinks a couple of times to get his mind back to reality.

His daughter softly touches his arm. “Daddy?“

“This, this is great Ara and you’re right he does look a bit like me.“

He gently cups her face in his hands. It’s incredible how much he loves her and how much she loves him back. Sometimes he thinks he’s not worth her love, sometimes her love is all that keeps him going.

“He’s got the same big nose like you!“

She laughs again and it’s the most beautiful thing in the world.

“You what?“

He tickles her and she wriggles out of his grip and runs over to the living room. He runs after her trying to catch her. They both ran around the living room table till Aaron gets her and tickles her tummy. Together they fall on the couch, laughing loudly.

“Daddy stop, Daddy stop!“

Ara tries to tickle him back.

Aaron stops and pushes her into a hug. The little girl presses her cheek on his cheek. She giggles when his scruff tickles her.

“Love you Daddy.“

“I love you too baby.“


	2. Somewhere over the rainbow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again this is unbeta'd so there might be grammar mistakes and the tenses might be mixed up sometimes, I am sorry for that. I tried. Hope you still enjoy reading it and let me know what you think and if I should keep on writing, thanks! <3

  
“No Ara you need to keep your hat on it’s cold.“

Aaron puts the hat back on his daughter's head for the third time now.

She looks at him with a frown. “You are not wearing a hat? Why do I have to?“

“Because…“ Aaron starts but gets interrupted by a little girl running over to them yelling.

“Ara!“

Both of them turn around to see Eve running towards them with Chas in tow.

The girls jump around each other and smile.

“Can we go to the playground for a bit Aaron?“

Eve looks at him with her dark brown eyes and a big smile. She’s the replica of Chas. The same smile. The same temper.

“Yeah go on, but only for a couple of minutes. Ara and I are heading to town in a bit.“

The kids run off and he feels his mom putting her head on his shoulder.

“Hello my beautiful son.“

He lays his head on hers for a bit and just takes in the view of the two girls chasing each other around on the playground.

“How are you love?“

They sit down on the bench for a bit, his Mum softly tapping her fingers on his knee.

“Yeah, I’m alright. What about you?“

She smiles at him. His Mum had been an anchor the last years. Paddy too. They weren’t pushing or anything, they were just there for him when he needed them.

“Yeah yeah same old. Paddy working a lot at the moment and Eve’s really testing me and my patience.“

He laughs out loud and points at Ara.

“I know the feeling. Ara principally does the exact opposite of what I want her to do.“

”It’s just a phase. They grow out of it, eventually.“ She pinches his cheek and laughs.

“Mum!“

“You off to town?“ His mum asks.

“Yeah Ara needs some new clothes and she’s bragging on about this muffin shop in Hotten. Apparently everyone has been there except her. So I might treat her to some sweets.“

Chas looks at her son with soft eyes.

“What?“

“You’re a good Dad, you.“

He blushes and stands up.

“Ara come on we need to get going. We might pop into the muffin shop if you’re behaving good today.“

Ara runs over and jumps up and down in front of him.

“I want the rainbow muffin Daddy, the rainbow muffin!“

She grabs his hand and pulls him into moving.

“See you later Mum.“

Eve waves wildly with her hands and then runs down to the pub.

“Bye loves, have a good time.“

They take the bus to town because Ara loves sitting in the bus watching the scenery. She always wants to sit in the back so she’s got the big window where she can watch the street and car behind them. She waves and smiles at everyone.

Aaron admires his little daughter. She’s like pure sunshine, warm and full of love. People naturally fall in love with her. She’s got this energy that infects everyone. When she looks at him he wants to give her the world.

After a little shopping marathon they finally find the perfect dress for her. It’s light blue, her favorite color, and has rainbows on it. Of course rainbows.

“Everything needs rainbows Daddy.”

She dances around him in the changing room.

A woman in the changing cabinet next to them who just comes out looks amused at Ara “She’s a real star, isn’t she? Her mother must be so proud.”

His lips twitch and he turns around to Ara, ignoring the woman.

The little girl stops dancing and is standing in front of one of the mirrors now. She looks like she’s in deep in thoughts.

“Do you think your Robert would like the dress too?”

He swallows and gets down on his knees next to her.

“Muffin -“

The girl shakes her head “Do you think your Robert would like me too Daddy?”

She looks at him directly now, her ice blue eyes sparkle like snow. She hadn’t mentioned Robert on her own for a while. Yes they talked about him, she knows Aaron and him were married like Nana Chas and Grandpa Paddy and she also knows that he’s not around and she won’t get to see him. Aaron think she knows that Robert is someone really special to Aaron. It’s the first time in months she starts talking about him.

He looks at her chest. The little silver heart on a necklace resting there peacefully. He didn’t want to throw away his wedding ring so he let it be melted from a jeweler and made into a necklace and a heart for Ara. She loves it and never takes it off.

Aaron puts his hand on her shoulders. His throat is dry and the words come out a bit strange. “He’d absolutely love the dress muffin and he’d love you to pieces because you’re like a rainbow beautiful and shiny. Everyone loves a rainbow and everyone loves you.”

He knows that Robert would love her with everything he has. The thought makes him smile and he has this warm feeling in his heart but it doesn’t take the ache he still feels fully away.

Ara looks at him with a serious face on but then she kisses his nose and starts dancing around again.

“Let’s get you changed back kiddo. On our way home we can stop at the muffin shop since you’ve been such a good girl.”

His daughter's eyes get bigger and she runs towards him, her littlest hands grabbing around his waist.

“I want the rainbow muffins!”

He laughs. Of course rainbows.

They’re waiting for 15 minutes in the queue now. Apparently half of the city decided to get some muffins at the exact time as them. Ara jumps up and down next to him. She’s getting impatient and the shopping bags feel heavy in his hands.

She grabs at the sleeves of his jacket. “I want the rainbow muffins now!”

He pats her head. “Not long ok, we just have to wait a bit longer.”

She puts her mad face on and Aaron smiles because she still looks absolutely adorable.

The little girl puts her arms in front of her chest and lets out a loud puff. “I don’t want to wait anymore.”

She suddenly lets go of his jacket and jumps to the side and is running down the hall to the counter at the end of the queue.

“Ara Abigail Dingle come back here now.”

He sees her standing in front of the counter looking through the glass window. Then she turns around on her heels and starts running back along the queue of people.

Aaron steps aside the queue to get to her but totally misses the person walking next to him.

Their shoulders connect and the other person drops the coffee mug and it falls to the floor with a swoosh. The liquid is flowing everywhere.

Ara‘s standing behind him now and he takes her hand so she can’t run off again.

He then turns around to the stranger with an apologizing look on his face.

“Omg I’m so sorry I didn’t see you. I’m gonna pay for the coffee of course.”

He looks at the person and notices the dark hazelnut brown eyes and the blonde hair.

It’s the man from the supermarket yesterday.

“Oh.”

Aaron blushes all of a sudden and doesn’t know why.

“At least I’m not getting yelled at today.” The man says jokingly with a smile on his face.

Aaron softly pushes Ara in front of him trying to avoid the other man's gaze.

“I’m really sorry, for the coffee and - for yesterday I suppose. Can I get you a new one?”

He looks up and the other man still smiles.

“Nah you’re alright.”

“I am sorry though.” Aaron tries again.

“Apology accepted. I gotta go now though, works calling.”

The man taps on his watch and starts walking past Ara and him. He waves at Ara who puts her biggest smile on and waves back.

“Yes sure of course.”

Aaron nods and watches the man walk away from them.

All of a sudden the blonde man turns around and walks back and hands over a candy bag to Ara.

“You could join me for a coffee one day if you want though.” He smiles at Aaron.

Aaron doesn’t know where to look and what to do with his hands. He suddenly feels incredible shy and self conscious. It’s been a while since someone made him blush like that.

The man grabs his hand and gets a pen out of his pocket and writes a number on his palm. He softly closes Aaron’s hands and smiles at him again and then he’s walking down the hallway disappearing around the next corner.

Aaron opens his palm and finds a phone number and a name written there.

Tom.

“Look Daddy, look it’s a rainbow muffin.” Ara shows him the bag Tom just gave to her.

Of course it’s a freaking rainbow muffin.

They go to see Nana Chas to show them the rainbow dress and Ara happily shares her muffin with Eve. Aaron enjoys a quiet pint with his Step-dad and then they head home.

It only takes ten minutes this evening and Ara‘s fast asleep in her bed.

After Ara‘s asleep Aaron gets himself a beer and sits down on the couch. He turns the TV on and finds an old car show to watch. He leans back on the couch and grabs his beer when he sees the phone number on his palm again. He nearly drops the bottle. He musters the number and his eyes get stuck on the name Tom.

He hesitates for a bit but then gets up and turns on the tab holding his hand under the water. He starts scrubbing his palm but then stops and turns the water off. He opens the drawer and gets a pen out and dribbles the phone number on a piece of paper. He looks at it and then puts it’s under a plant pot standing in front of the kitchen window. He turns the water on again and washes the phone number and name away. His palm is red puffy when he’s done and it hurts a bit. He touches the sore skin and secretly feels the urge to push down on it but he doesn’t. 

When he walks over to the living room he looks to the fridge and sees Robert’s picture. He just stands there for a bit and his mind wanders to the garage Robert and him met for the first. He balls his hands into a fist and digs into the raw skin. He sighs and walks over to the living room.

Heavily he lets himself fall down on the couch. He grabs his beer once again and takes a long sip.

He watches the car show till he falls asleep and his aching back wakes him up again. Sleeping on the couch was never a good idea. He tiredly turns off the TV and makes his way upstairs to the bedroom.

He carefully opens the door to Ara’s room and peeks in for a second. She’s fast asleep, holding mister bunny tight in her arms. He blows her a kiss and goes to bed.


	3. A different kind of family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again this is unbeta'd so there might be grammar mistakes and the tenses might be mixed up sometimes, I am sorry for that. I tried. Hope you still enjoy reading it and let me know what you think and if I should keep on writing, thanks! <3

Nursery finally opens up again the next day and Aaron’s currently lying under a car working on the engine, quietly humming to a song in the radio. Cain‘s off to get some car parts in Leeds, so he’s got the morning in the garage for himself. He likes it like that, just him and the cars.

“Aaron darling?”

Aaron hears rushed steps coming closer.

“Under here.” He yells.

He knows it’s his Mum. He knows those heels like he knows the sounds of different types of engines.

He rolls himself out from under the car and sees his Mum leaning on the office door.

“You alright?”

“Yeah thanks. I just wanted to ask if you’ve got any plans for Ara’s birthday in two months?”

Aaron scratches his head. “I dunno she said she wanted a princess party but the next day she said she wants pirates. Not sure what I do now.”

He walks over to the office and gives his Mum a quick kiss on the cheek.

“You know she keeps changing her mind every five minute.” He laughs.

“Want a brew?”

“Yeah, go on then.”

Chas follows Aaron into the office and sits down on Cain’s desk.

“So … have you heard from Robert.”

Aaron almost knocks over the tea mugs and looks up at her with a weird face.

His Mum still looks at him questioningly and waiting for an answer.

“No. No I haven’t heard from him.”

“Well I thought with Ara’s birthday coming up.“

He puts his attention back to the turning on the kettle.

“Are you planning on going out on the weekend? I read in the papers there’s this new club in Leeds that opens. I could take care of Ara for the night and you and your buddies could go out.”

The kettle boils and he puts the hot water in the mugs.

“I don’t want Ara to sleep somewhere else.”

His mother sighs.

“Right. Aaron darling, it’s been almost five years now. You’ve been divorced for three years. You shouldn’t hide away yourself forever. You know you deserve some love, you know Robert would want you to be happy. That’s why he let you go.“

They’ve been there before. His mum wanting him to move on, being happy. They had a big fallout over this till she apologized and not mentioned it again. It’s been a while since she talked about Robert with him.

“I know alright. I’m not hiding though and I have Ara.”

He hands her the mug and walks out of the office. The garage door is open and he leans himself on it. He looks outside on the busy road his mind drifting away for a bit.

His Mum comes out of the office and stands next to him gently touching his shoulder.

“I’m sorry love. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just want you to be happy.”

He takes a sip of the tea but winces because it still a bit hot.

“I know. I’ve got Ara and Eve. You and Paddy. Cain. I’ve got you all.”

“Yeah, you have us, always.”

Suddenly they can hear a phone ringing and Aaron walks back into the garage to go look for it.

It takes a while till he finds it next to the tool box.

“Dingle, who’s this?”

“Mr. Dingle this Abby Hawkins from sunshine nursery. I am sorry to tell you but there was a little incident with Ara at the nursery this morning and we need you to come around.”

The woman on the phone is speaking in a soft voice, trying to calm him down.

“Oh god, Is she alright? What happened? Yes I’m coming right away.”

Aaron hastily ends the phone call, grabs his keys and runs over to the car.

“Aaron what’s happened?” His mum is following him outside to his car.

“Please can you close up the garage. It’s Ara. Something happened at nursery.”

He jumps in the car and starts it, his mind already on overload with worry of his little girl.

He drives around the nursery in record time. He doesn’t even think about changing his clothes so he makes his way into the nursery home still with his working overalls and boots on. He pushes the door open violently and immediately starts yelling for his daughter.

Mrs Hawkins is walking towards him. “Mr Dingle -”

He looks at her with a furious face and then he see his daughter in some man’s arm and he loses it.

He runs over and rips Ara away from him. The little girl is crying. He looks at her and he can see she’s having a split lip. He gets a tissue out of his pocket and carefully tries to wipe the blood away.

He looks up at the man standing in front of him.

“You? It’s you again? Are you a freaking stalker or something.”

The man, Tom - he remembers the phone number and name on his palm - looks shocked.

“Oh. No oh god no I’m working here temporarily I told you. I work at the youth welfare service.”

Aaron shakes his head not wanting to think about that now. He’s only got space for Ara in his head now.

Mrs Hawkins stands herself next to Tom. “Mr Dingle did you not get the notice we sent you a couple of days ago about the new social worker joining our team?”

Aaron looks confused. “I don’t know, maybe. I don’t care about that now.“

He puts Ara down and goes to kneel in front of her. He turns her face in all directions to make sure she’s not hurt anywhere else.

Ara is still quietly sobbing and holding onto his arms tightly.

“What happened baby?”

His daughter wipes her tears away and lets out a heartbreaking sob.

“Becca said I have no Mummy because she doesn’t love me. And … and I told her I’ve got you and Nana Chas and Grandpa Paddy and grumpy Uncle Cain … and your Robert.”

More tears roll down her face.

“She said that doesn’t count and I only don’t have a Mummy because I’m a bad girl. And then I pushed her I know you always tell me I can’t push others but she was saying bad words about you and then she ripped of my necklace and pushed me to the floor.”

Ara was full on crying now holding the broken necklace in her hand.

“Oh baby, I’m gonna fix this ok?”

He pushes her into a tight hug and lifts her up on his hip, stroking her hair softly.

“Mr Dingle let us go through to my office so we can have a look at her lip.” Mrs Hawkins says.

“I don’t want you to do anything. Where did this happen?”

He looked at Tom now with severe eyes.

“The teachers were talking about families in class today and I think the kids kept on talking about it outside during their break. As soon as I saw Ara falling I walked over. I’m sorry Mr. Dingle.”

“You are sorry a lot aren’t you?” He snaps at the other man.

Ara stops crying and pokes Aaron on his cheek. “Don’t be mad with Mr Rogers he helped me find my necklace and gave me ice for my lip.”

She winces when she touches her sore lip with her tongue.

Aaron looks from his daughter to Tom and coughs awkwardly. “Well thank you for taking care of her.”

Tom nods. “The girls already talked about it and there’ll be consequences for Becca. We’re really sorry Mr. Dingle.”

“I’m gonna take Ara home now. I hope you’re going to inform Becca's parents about this. I don’t want her around Ara again.”

Mrs Hawkins gently touches Ara’s shoulder. “See you soon Ara, you’re a brave girl.”

“Bye Mr Rogers and thank you for finding my necklace.” Ara says when Aaron turns around to leave.

In the car Aaron turns on Ara‘s favorite music CD. She happily nods her head in the rhythm of the music.

He can’t believe that guy is working at Ara‘s nursery now. How many weird encounters can you have with one person. He feels weird when he thinks about Mr Rogers - Tom. He seems genuinely concerned about Ara and his daughter really seems to like him.

When they are back at home Aaron puts on Ara’s favorite cartoon and they eat some pasta on the couch together, what normally never happens but he wants to cheer up his little girl who’s still upset about her broken necklace.

After they finish Ara falls asleep on the couch and Aaron lets her, she seems exhausted.

He puts the plates in the dishwasher and cleans their glasses.

He sees the broken necklace lying on the table and takes it in his hand. He needs it get to fixed as soon as possible he knows how much it means to his little girl. To him.

Aaron sighs and puts the ketchup bottle back into the fridge. The fridge door slips out of his hands and closes with a bang. The pictures pinned on the front come off the fridge and Aaron picks them up from the floor. It’s Roberts picture and he looks at his ex-husband for a while. His heart stings a bit but he puts it back on the fridge, touching it gently.

He looks over to the couch where is little girls is softly snoring. She would be alright wouldn’t she but they we’re going to talk about this whole mummy thing again in the morning.


	4. Sunshine after a rainy day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again this is unbeta'd so there might be grammar mistakes and the tenses might be mixed up sometimes, I am sorry for that. I tried. Hope you still enjoy reading it and let me know what you think and if I should keep on writing, thanks! <3

“Come on muffin hurry up, we’re getting late and we need to pick up Eve as well.” Aaron’s calling after his daughter to come downstairs for the third time now.

A couple of minutes later she’s standing in front of him fully dressed and a smile on her face.

“I’m ready.” She grins at him.

He squishes her cheek teasingly and they walk outside to the car together.

Chas and Eve are already waiting outside and Eve runs over to Ara as soon as she sees her and hugs her. The girls giggle and start running around in the drive way.

“Morning.” Chas gives her son a quick kiss on his cheek. “You and Ara alright. What’s happened to her lip.” She points over to Ara.

He gulps hard. “Morning. Little incident at nursery yesterday. Another girl didn’t like it that she’s got no mummy.” He sighs. “And pushed her around.”

“Oh I’m sorry sweetheart, do you wanna talk about it? Is she alright?” Chas looks at him with concerned eyes.

“She’s alright yeah, feels like a right warrior with her split lip. I’m working later so I got no time at the moment, gotta get going.”

She nods and walks over to kiss her daughter on the head and gives Ara a hug.

“You two girls be good and I might let you help me in the pub later ok?”

The girls jump up and down with excitement.

“Alright you two in the car now. It’s starting to rain.”

Aaron turns on the kids favorite music in the car and listens to them singing along.

He concentrates on the street when a he sees a car parked on the side of the country road a man leaning over the open hood.

He slows down a bit because the rain gets heavier.

“Look this is Mr Rogers over there Daddy, what’s he doing with his car?”

Aaron looks out of the window and sees the man waving around with a wrench.

They drive past the car and the girls keep on singing their songs.

He’s got no time for that now and he’s really not in the mood to talk to the man again.

It makes him feel weird when he thinks about how often he accidentally had ran into the man already.

He parks the car in front of the nursery and gets the girls in and wishes them a good day. On his way out Mrs Hawkins stops him.

“Mr Dingle, how is Ara today. We’re so sorry about yesterday and we’ll definitely keep an eye on her today.”

He nods in agreement and keeps on walking but suddenly turns around.

“Is Mr Rogers coming in today?”

“No, he’s only here half of the week the other days he’s doing social work with disabled kids in the village hall. Do you want me to pass him a message?”

Aaron shakes his head. “No, no it’s fine thanks.”

Before getting back to his a car he gets himself a coffee to go and makes his way home.

He’s slowly tapping to the music in the car when he sees the car on the side of the road again and a very wet Mr Rogers standing next to it with a big frown on his face.

He drives past not wanting to stop but looks in the rearview mirror and sees the man kicking at his car.

He sighs deeply and turns his car around and parks it a couple of meters away. He gets the hood of his jacket up and walks over to the man.

The man kicks at the wheel of the car again and sighs loudly.

“Don’t think kicking it makes it better.”

Mr Rogers twitches and looks up. “What else am I supposed to do when this trash of a car isn’t working, it’s the third time in two weeks it lets me down.”

Aaron can’t help but grin and sees how Mr Rogers slowly realises who he’s talking to.

“Oh, Mr Dingle.” He hastily wipes the raindrops off his forehead.

“Wouldn’t call a BMW M3 E30 from 1987 trash.” Aaron walks past Mr Rogers and opens the hood.

The man looks confused but follows him. “You into cars?”

Aaron’s looking at the engine, checking over several cables. “I’m a mechanic but yes I love cars too.”

Mr Rogers stands himself next to him. “You’re my shining knight on a white horse then?” He looks over to where Aaron's car is parked. It’s white.

“You what?” Aaron puts his head deeper in the bonnet to avoid the other man's eyes.

Mr Rogers coughs awkwardly. “Sorry just with you stopping and you know we didn’t have a good start but we keep on meeting each other. Ok I’m talking too much sorry. Can you fix it?”

Aaron turns around and shakes his head. “No, not without my toolbox and I think the ignition cable is done, you need a new one. Can you call a tow truck?”

The man gets his phone out of his pocket and waves it around. “No battery.”

Aaron rolls his eyes. “You’re not very lucky are you?”

The man bites his lip and Aaron feels like he can see some sadness flash over in his eyes. “No I’m mostly not the lucky type.”

Aaron looks at the other man for a while. His hair is damp and funnily falling on the side. His brown eyes sparkle and tiny raindrops hang on his eyelashes. He’s got this sharp jawline and soft pink lips. He sees a white pale scar running down from under the man's ear over the side of his neck disappearing under the labels of his jacket. His clothes are wet. He’s shivering slightly and he’s got a sad look on his face.

Aaron blinks himself back to reality and gets his phone out. “I’m gonna call my uncle he works with me at the garage. We can tow your car to the garage.”

“Oh wow yes that’d be great, thank you.”

Aaron nods and turns around to call Cain. As it happens he’s nearby and can be around in a couple of minutes.

Aaron closes the bonnet of the car. “My uncle should be here in a couple of minutes and then we can have a look at it at the garage if you want.”

Mr Rogers smiles. “Yes thank you!”

“If you’d take a bit more care of this car it wouldn’t let you down that often. You’ve got a real beauty here.” Aaron looks at the other man.

“Oh yeah ok. I got it from my grandfather so it’s a family car. I’m no good with cars though.”

The man awkwardly steps from one foot on the other, looking nervous.

“You could get a service contract at the garage so we could have a look at it once in a while.” Aaron replies quickly and blushes slightly.

Mr Rogers looks him directly in the eyes and he feels that flash in his chest again, it’s warm but also aches. He nervously looks away.

“Yeah, yeah I could.”

Both man look up when they hear a car honking in the distance.

“That’s Cain.”

A couple of seconds later Cain and Dan turn up and park the tow truck in front of Mr Rogers car.

“You alright lads?” Cain looks at Aaron. “Didn’t you take Ara and Eve to nursery?”

Aaron laughs. “Well always working me, you know that!”

They load up the car on the tow truck with care and Mr Rogers hands over the keys to Cain.

“Sorry mate can’t take you with us cos‘ Dan’s in the co-drivers seat. Call a cab?”

Cain hands Mr Rogers a business card so he can find the garage and jumps in the car.

“Laters lads.”

Aaron and Mr Rogers watch the tow truck disappear down the road.

Thankfully the rains stops. The two men‘s clothes are wet from standing outside for a while though.

“I am sorry to ask again, could you call me a cab?” Mr Rogers blushes and points at his phone again reminding Aaron that he still can’t use his phone.

Aaron hesitates a bit but then looks over to his car.

“I’m heading there anyway.” He coughs quietly. “I could give you a lift?”

Mr Rogers looks up and raises his eyebrows. “You sure I really don’t wanna bother you. You helped enough already.”

Aaron starts walking over to the car. “Nah it’s alright come on.”

The man follows him and they both get in the car.

Mr Rogers struggles with the seatbelt and Aaron leans over to help him and in that moment the other man leans forward and their faces almost touch. Aaron shuffles back and lets go of the seatbelt which then snaps back with a loud thud.

Aaron stares at the other man with wide eyes. “Sorry.”

Mr Rogers looks a bit shaken but then shakes his head and grabs the seatbelt again and this time manages to get it in.

He smiles awkwardly. “It’s ok, sorry, see I’m never lucky.”

Aaron looks on the road and starts the car.

They drive in silence for a while and listen to the radio not knowing what to say.

Mr Rogers brings his hand to his face and coughs. “Thank you Mr. Dingle you probably saved my day, think I’d still be standing there.”

Aaron doesn’t take his eyes off the road but speaks with a quiet voice. “It’s Aaron.”

The rest of the drive they are quiet again and awkwardly looking out of the window.

Aaron stops his car in front of the garage.

“Here we are.”

“Rigth thanks.”

Both men get out of the car and walk over to where Cain is making a phone call. When he hangs up he comes over.

“It’s the ignition cable. I just ordered one and it should be here in an hour and Aaron there could fix it then.”

Mr. Rogers scratches at his chin and looks at Aaron. “Could you do that?”

“Yeah, yeah that’s alright.”

Cain nods at the two men and gets in the car and drives it into the garage hall.

Aaron all of a sudden feels cold and it reminds him that he’s soaked through from the rain. His wet clothes are clinging onto his body.

“I’m gonna go get changed.” He looks at Mr Rogers and notices that the other man is slightly shivering. “Oh you‘re shivering you must be pretty cold too.”

He doesn’t mean to say it but it slips out of his mouth without overthinking it. “You could- you could come over to mine I’m sure I got some spare joggings and a shirt for you.”

Mr Rogers looks up at him and smiles but hastily shakes his head. “No, no it’s alright I don’t wanna bother you even more.”

Aaron scoffs. “It’s not a bother, it’s only clothes.”

“Ok then thank you. I gotta admit I’m freezing.” He rubs his hands in front of him and Aaron sees goosebump on his skin.

“This way.” Aaron points towards the mill down the road.

He leaves his car at the garage because after his shift he has to get the kids from nursery and he doesn’t want to get back home to get his car.

Aaron and Mr Rogers walk quickly over to the mill. He puts the key in the lock and opens the door. He steps aside and nods for the other man to walk in. He gets out of his shoes and carefully gets in the house. It feels weird to have this stranger, this man in his house. Since Robert left no other man had visited the mill, only his family.

Mr Rogers looks a bit lost standing awkwardly in the living room. He’s still shivering and Aaron feels pretty cold too.

He excuses himself and walks up to the bedroom to get some clothes. He decorated the bedroom new a couple years later after Robert had left. It reminded him too much of Robert, about their marriage. The marriage that was over. His bedroom looks a bit like his old teenager room he had over the pub when he still was living with his mum. It makes him feel safe.

Aaron gets down the stairs and pushes the clothes towards Mr Rogers.

“So the guest room is over there, you can get changed there. You can leave the wet clothes in the en-suite bathroom to dry, if you want. I’ll be rigth back in some minutes.”

He picks at his wet T-shirt.

“Tom.” The other man holds out his hand towards Aaron.

Aaron looks frazzled. “What?”

Tom laughs. “My name. Call me Tom.”

Aaron blushes a bit. “Yeah right.”

He doesn’t take the other man‘s hand and hastily runs up the stairs again. He closes the door quickly and leans on the wall, his breathing getting weird. Why on earth did he bring him here. He walks over to the bathroom and looks in the mirror. His beard is thick and wild and it definitely needs a trim. His eyes look tired. He shakes his head and changes his clothes. He takes his comfortable sweat bottoms and the black shirt. Liv always says his chest stands out more in that one. Why does he care about that now?

Aaron takes a deep breath and walks down the stairs again.

Tom is standing in the kitchen and he already put Aaron’s clothes on. The white shirt sits tight around his chest and Aaron can see his abs. The sweat bottoms hang low on his hip and hug his arse nicely. His hair looks sorted now and his face is a bit flushed and red from being cold.

Aaron just stands there for a while and looks at him. The man looks fit and Aaron starts fidgeting with his fingers.

He just notices now that Tom is standing in front of the fridge looking at the pictures there. At his picture. Roberts.

“What are you doing.” He says it a bit too loud and walks towards the man fast who looks up, being startled.

“Sorry the fridge was making noises and I have the same one at home so I just checked the water filter and the noises stopped. Technical error as always. Sorry I didn’t mean to snoop around.”

Aaron looks over to the fridge and sees Roberts picture pinned there and it takes his breath away for a second. Then he looks at Tom who comes closer with concern in his eyes.

“Aaron, you ok?”

It feels strange to hear the other man say his name. It kind of sounds nice. He blinks a couple of times.

“Yeah.” Aaron swallows, trying to get a grip.

“Thanks for the clothes I can wait over at the garage now.” The man starts walking over to the door.

“Want a coffee? I still owe you one don’t I.” Aaron bites his lip. The hand resting in the pockets of his sweatpants balls into a slight fist nervously.

The blonde man‘s face is unreadable and Aaron doesn’t know what he’s thinking. Tom’s face softens then and he walks back to the kitchen.

“Go on then.”

He watches the other man sit down on one of the kitchen chairs. It still feels weird to have him in his house but it also is nice to have some company other than his family and the kids.

“Right coffee.” Aaron turns around and busies himself with making the coffee. As soon as he’s done he puts them on the table and sits down on the chair opposite of Tom.

The other man nervously plays with his fingers and Aaron thinks he looks cute.

“So how’s Ara doing after yesterday I’m sorry she was so upset.”

Aaron takes a sip of his coffee and puts his hands on the table.

“She’s alright yeah, tough cookie she is. It’s just a bit complicated.”

Tom nods, understanding. “She told me about not having a Mum but she’s ok with it because she has you and nana Chas and the family.”

Aaron smiles softly thinking about his little girl. She’s always so strong.

“And she talked about a Robert.”

Aaron’s whole body stops and he just stares into space avoiding Tom‘s eyes.

He doesn’t say a word for a while.

Tom seems to sense Aarons uncomfortableness and reaches over the table to gently put his hand over Aarons. He hesitates a bit before he puts his hand there to see Aaron’s reaction. Aaron doesn’t takes his hands away. It feels strange though. Tom’s hands are warm and soft and Aaron feels the warmth run up his arms and shoulders. It feels nice.

“She’s really proud of you being her Dad. It’s all she talks about.”

Aaron blinks and hopes Tom doesn’t see his eyes getting watery. He coughs awkwardly.

“I’m proud of her too. She’s everything to me.”

“She’s really a wonderful little girl Aaron, kind and caring and really smart.”

Tom smiles at him and Aaron can see that he really means it.

His throat feels raw and he doesn’t know why he says it.

“Robert is my husband. Ex-husband.” He corrects himself.

“Oh I’m sorry.” Tom lowers his eyes and Aaron thinks he can see sadness in the other man’s eyes again. “And he doesn’t want to see Ara?” The other man shakes his head. “Sorry if that’s too private.“

Aaron puts his hands on his lap and picks on a lose bit of skin on his thumb. He wants to tell him. It feels like the other man understands his pain in some way.

“He doesn’t know about her. He had to leave - left me before the surrogacy went through.”

Tom looks over to the fridge. “That him?”

Aaron nods.

“You miss him? Sorry it’s none of my business.” Tom shakes his head in apology.

“He wanted a divorce.” Aaron says louder than he wanted it to be.

Suddenly Aaron’s phone starts ringing and almost makes him jump. He answers it and it’s Cain wanting them to come over. The ignition cable has arrived and Aaron can fix the car now.

They don’t speak when they make their way over to the garage and Aaron changes in his overalls and has the cable fixed half an hour later.

He hands the keys over to Tom. “It should work fine now. Cain sends the bill to you in the next days.”

Tom takes the keys and their fingers touch for a second. They stay likes this for a second longer and Aaron looks Tom directly in the eyes. There’s an energy running through their fingers right into Aaron’s chest and it feels good.

“Thanks Aaron, really thanks. I’ll get your clothes back as soon as I can.”

“It’s ok, there’s no rush.”

Aaron thinks Tom looks a bit disappointed when he says it.

“Right, thanks for the coffee. Bye Aaron.”

He gets in the car and Aaron watches him drive off. He grins at himself. It was nice to have the other man around and just talk. He hasn’t done this for a while. Just be a young man and hanging out with friends. He always felt like he wasn’t ready, he wasn’t allowed to do it. He feels like he can do it now.

“Got his number? That bloke couldn’t take his eyes off you.” Cain slaps his nephews shoulder.

“What you talking about Cain.”

“Blind or what? He totally checked you out. You should go for it, it‘s been a while or?”

Aaron actually blushes. Was the other man really interested in him?

Cain walks over and shoves the wrench onto Aaron’s chest and smirks at him. „All right Mr boss lover boy this car needs an oil change and I’m outa here now. Perks of being retired.“ He laughs.

Aaron rolls his eyes but gets to work.


	5. You make my heart smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again this is unbeta'd so there might be grammar mistakes and the tenses might be mixed up sometimes, I am sorry for that. I tried. Hope you still enjoy reading it and let me know what you think and if I should keep on writing, thanks! <3

The rest of the week goes quiet and Aaron’s mostly working and taking Ara out on the playground when the weather is good.

His mind wanders to Tom a couple of times but Aaron doesn’t know what to do. Everytime he stands in the kitchen he remembers the note under the plant pot with Tom’s phone number on it.

Aaron’s just filling his coffee into a mug when there’s a knock at the front door. He puts the mug aside and opens the door. He finds a package lying in front of the door.

He stares at it in surprise and takes it inside.

He grabs his coffee mug again and sits down on the kitchen table carefully opening the package.

It’s his clothes Tom had been wearing the other week inside. Neatly folded and clean. They smell nice. There’s a little envelope too and he curiously looks at it. He hesitates for a second but rips it open. He finds a note and a BMW emblem. It looks old and classic. He reads the note and can feel his heartbeat get faster and his hands get sweaty.

___________________________________________

Hi Aaron,

thanks again for helping me with the car and borrowing me your clothes. I found this BMW sign in the basement and it made me think of you. Take it as a little thanks for helping me out.

See you?

Tom

__________________________________________

Aaron looks at the BMW sign and turns it around in his hand. It’s a rare one, he notices. It’s on a silver chain and Aaron decides to hang it on the wall. He softly touches the sign and smiles.

He walks over to the sink and lifts up the plant pot. The note with the phone number is still lying there. He grabs his mobile phone and creates a new contact saving the number to his address book. His fingers linger over Tom's name. Aaron sighs and puts his phone in the pocket of his jeans.

“Daddy I‘m home.“ The front door opens and Ara sticks her head in.

Aaron smiles. “Hey muffin how was your day?“

His daughter puts her school back on the kitchen table and gets a drawing out.

“Mr Rogers wanted us to draw what we love the most.“

She hands him the drawing and giggles. “That’s you.“

“Aw this is beautiful baby. And I love you too, the mostest.“ He kisses his daughter on the head.

“Mr Rogers said we’re going to the zoo next week but we need a parent to come too. Can you come Daddy?“ Ara looks at him with big eyes.

“I don’t know. I don’t think I have time.“ He bites at his lip.

“Please!!“ She‘s softly touching his arm and giving him the cutest heart eyes.

“Yeah alright I’ll try to get some time off from work but I can’t promise just yet.“

Ara jumps up and down and runs around the kitchen table.

“Can I go upstairs and play zoo keeper?“

Aaron laughs. “Yeah go on muffin.“

“Mr Rogers huh?“ His mum’s leaning in the door frame. “The same Mr Rogers who was driving off in your clothes last week, Cain told me.“

Aaron actually blushes a bit and avoids his Mum‘s eyes.

“You know Eve doesn’t stop talking about Mr Rogers, he seems to be really good with kids.” His Mum grins.

“He was the one finding Mr Bunny in the supermarket when Ara lost him last week.”

Aaron walks over to his Mum.

“Right what a coincidence. Or meant to be.” She winks at him.

Aaron scoffs. “If you say so. Are we still on for tea later?”

His Mum nods. “Yeah sure and then you can tell me all the details about Mr Roberts getting in your clothes.” She gently slaps his arm.

“Mum.” Aaron rolls his eyes but smiles.

“Later then.” Chas walks out of the door.

He closes the door after his Mum and gets his phone out. He opens his contact list and scrolls down to Toms number. He should thank him for getting him the BMW sign. His fingers hover over the call button but he can’t get himself to push it. Aaron sighs, locks his phone and throws it in the couch.

The next couple of days go quick. Aaron has some call outs and a doctor check up with Ara. All is good. The doctor is happy with her and she proudly shows her lollipop to nana Chas afterwards.

Wednesday the next week comes quick and Aaron’s currently sitting in his car with Ara and Eve. Both singing along to Christmas songs on their way to the zoo. Ara says you can always sing Christmas songs. Aaron can’t remember why he’d agreed to help out going to the zoo with Ara‘s class and he secretly curses himself. Especially because Mr Rogers is coming too. He didn’t have the guts to call him and say thanks for the car sign so he feels a bit bad.

Aaron parks the car. He gets his rucksack and walks over to where Mr Rogers - Tom - is waiting with a couple of kids standing in a queue.

Ara and Eve are running towards the man and jump and down in front of him in excitement.

His daughter turns around a points at him. “Look Mr Rogers I brought you my Daddy so you aren’t alone.”

Tom laughs and softly pats Ara‘s head. “That’s very nice of you bringing your dad. Get in the queue you two we can start our tour in two minutes.”

Aaron slowly walks over and and nervously smiles. “Hi, Mr Rogers erm Tom.” He coughs awkwardly.

He puts up his hand and Tom takes it. The other man's hand is bigger than his own and feels nice around his own. He grips it tight and they stay like this for a moment till Aaron looks up and sees Toms beautiful browns eyes.

The other man coughs. “Hi, Aaron thanks for helping out today. We couldn’t have done that trip without you.“

Aaron blushes and let’s go of Toms hand. “No problem, really.”

Tom nods and turns around. “Alright kids this is Mr Dingle. He’s our assistant teacher for today so you listen to him.”

Ara lifts her arm.

“Yes Ara?” Tom calls her to speak.

The little girl steps out of the queue and speaks loudly. “This is my Daddy.”

“Hello mr Ara‘s Daddy.” The Kids say in union.Aaron waves back and grins.

“Let’s go class.”

The kids yell in excitement and the queue starts walking. Aaron following behind.

First they go and see the giraffes and Tom tells the kids interesting details about the animals. Everyone’s quiet and listening to what he says. It makes Aaron smile how Ara and Eve are standing next to Tom soaking in all the things he tells them. They move to the lions next and they all together roar like lions. It’s a cute sight.

After seeing the monkeys and ice bears they stop at a little playground where they’re having a picnic and the kids can run around for a bit.

Aaron tiredly sits down on one of the benches and can’t hide a yawn.

“Working on cars is quieter is it?” Tom sits down next to him and hands a coffee to Aaron.

“Thanks.”

He takes the coffee and sips on it carefully. The warm drink feels good. The weather is nice today and the sun is shining but you can feel it’s November.

“Yeah cars are definitely easier to handle but those kids are real treasures.”

He looks up and Tom‘s looking directly at him. He’s wearing a brown beanie which makes his blonde hair, that sticks out, shine even more. His long eyelashes are deep black and his brown eyes look like hazelnuts. Aaron’s distracted by it for a second.

“Aaron?” He hears the other man say.

“Yeah, what?” Aaron looks confused for a moment.

“I just asked if Ara‘s alright, you know after the incident with Becca?”

Tom looks over to the kids, making sure everyone’s alright.

“Oh sorry got distracted.” He nervously picks on his coffee mug. “Yeah she’s alright thanks.”

The Other man drinks from his coffee. “I’m glad.”

Aaron swallows and his words come out a bit strange. “Erm I just wanted to say …”

Aaron’s cut off when a little boy runs over to them saying Sarah fell over and hit her knee. Tom immediately gets up and puts his coffee on the side of the bench.

He walks over to the girl and talks to her in a soft voice, checking her over. He helps her up and the little girl smiles again and the tears dry. Tom waves at Aaron to come over. Aaron picks up his rucksack and their coffees.

“Sarah’s hurt her knee a bit so we just see the dolphins and then go home.”

Aaron nods and they get all the kids together and go to the dolphins.

Later Aaron’s waiting till all the kids get picked up from their parents and it’s only Ara, Eve, Tom and him at the parking lot.

Ara and Eve are still running around. They seem to never get tired.

Tom says goodbye to the last kids and walks over to Aaron. “These kids never get tired, do they?”

Aaron yells after Ara and Eve to stop running around. “Yeah I don’t know where they get this energy from. I’m knackered and could use a cold beer and my couch right now.”

Tom laughs. “I know what you mean.”

Aaron shyly looks away and feels his cheeks redden. “This was a nice day.”

“Yeah we could repeat it, I mean maybe just you and me?”

Aaron can’t look up and doesn’t know what to say. So he turns around and waves for Ara and Eve to get in the car.

Ara shakes Toms hand and whispers something to him but Aaron can’t hear it all of it.

“This was a lovely day and Daddy was smiling so much today, thank you.” She gives Tom a high five and climbs into the car.

“Erm thanks, I should -“ Aaron opens the car door.

Tom smiles. “Yeah me too. See you Aaron.”

Aaron gets in the car and has to stop for a bit. He grips the steering wheel tight and he can feel his heartbeat in his finger tips. After some seconds he starts the car and drives off. He tries not to think about the other man and concentrates on the roads.

Chas says thank you for bringing Eve home but Aaron’s not stopping because he’s not up for a chat with his Mum who’s looking at him with curious eyes.

Him and Ara have dinner and the little girl excitingly shares all her new knowledge about the animals with him. It’s an hour later when he tucks her bed and reads her favorite bedtime story.

Her eyes are already closing and he kisses her forehead softly when Aaron hears her speak again. “Mr Rogers is a good teacher. I like him and he made you smile Daddy.”

She gently touches his cheek. “I love it when you smile Daddy.”

A wave of guilt rushes through Aaron. Does Ara know more about him and his difficulties with her and losing Robert. He’s worried now. Doesn’t want his daughter to worry about him.

His eyes get watery and he puts his forehead on Ara‘s. Sometimes she’s so much wiser than her age. It scares him but also makes him proud. He makes a mental note to himself to not let himself slip again and Ara see that he’s still struggling sometimes. He’d talk to his counselor next week about it.

“You always make me smile muffin.”

He watches her for a while till she’s asleep and sneaks out of her room on tip toes.

He puts away the dishes and gets himself a beer. It’s top gear on television and he tiredly sits down on the couch staring at the tv screen but not really taking anything in. He looks over to his phone and grabs it.

Aaron startes at it for a while but then opens his contact list and finds Toms number. He starts a new message.

**A: Hi.**

He waites but there’s no reply. He nervously wipes his fingers over the screen when suddenly a new messge appears.

_**T: Hi, who’s this?** _

Aaron forgot that Tom didn’t have his number and curses himself for starting the message like this.

**A: Aaron. Aaron Dingle. Ara’s Dad.**

He goes to type another message but Tom‘s answering faster.

_**T: Oh hi. You got home safe?** _

**A: Yeah thanks and you?**

_**T: Me too. Just microwaving some pasta, one person meal you know.** _

He puts a smile emoji at the end of his messaged and it makes Aaron laugh.

**A: So you’re an emoji kind of man?**

_**T: :)** _

_**T: Why don’t you find out if you want.** _

Aaron’s fingers get sweaty. He’s bad at flirting and that hasn’t changed. He ignores Toms joke and changes the subject.

**A: I wanted to say thanks for my clothes back and the BMW sign. It’s a really rare one.**

How did you get your hands on this?

_**T: No problem I just wanted to say thanks for helping me out the other week. And I told you my grandad loved BMW’s. I found it in his basement.** _

**A: Wow nice and yeah it’s awesome thanks.**

Aaron takes another sip of his beer. He really has enjoyed himself with Tom and the kids today and he wants to see him again but then there’s still this ache in his chest that stops him. He sighs.

He hears footsteps and sees his daughter upstairs rushing to the toilet and then back to her bed again. He thinks of what his girl had said earlier. He made you smile. And it’s true he felt light and Tom and the kids made him smile a lot.

He starts typing a message but deletes it again. It goes like this for a while. After some minutes he finishes it and presses the sent button closing his eyes.

**A: Would you maybe wanna repeat our day today?**

He waits but there’s no answer, not even after five minutes and he feels awkward. Did he misread Tom and his flirting. He probably made a fool out of himself now. He presses his palm on his forehead.

Then a message appears and Aaron almost drops his phone.

_**T: You mean you and the kids? Yeah sure it was nice today.** _

**A: No. I meant you and me? And a drink?**

_**T: Oh.** _

_**T: Yeah.** _

_**T: Yeah I’d like that.** _

Aaron presses his phone on his chest. He’s got this warm and fuzzy feeling inside his chest which covers up the ache he normally feels there. He smiles.

**A: Saturday, bar west 9pm?**

_**T: Great. See you there.** _

**A: Yeah. See ya!**

Aaron lets his head fall against the couch and closes his eyes.


	6. It's a date?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again this is unbeta'd so there might be grammar mistakes and the tenses might be mixed up sometimes, I am sorry for that. I tried. Hope you still enjoy reading it and let me know what you think and if I should keep on writing, thanks! <3

Aaron’s staring into his open closet for 15 minutes now and he can’t find the right outfit. He’d suggested to meet with Tom for a drink but he felt incredibly insecure about it now. He never really went on dates. His mind wanders to Robert for a second but he shakes his head not wanting to go there.

He hears the doorbell go and yells for Ara to open the door for Nana Chas. Chas happily agreed to take Ara for the night so he could go out. He still can’t decide what to wear and sits himself down on his bed with a loud sigh.

There’s a soft knock on his bedroom door.

“Aaron?“

“Yeah come in.“

His mum comes in with a big grin on her face. “Ara’s packing some toys then we’ll be off. You alright sweetheart?“

He frowns and looks over to the closet again.

“Don’t know what to wear?“ She asks, sitting herself down next to him.

“Mum, do you think this is right?“

“What not knowing what to wear for a date, yeah I’d say that’s right and normal.“

He nervously picks at one of his fingernails. “No I mean going out with Tom.“

His Mum takes his hand in hers and softly strokes it with her thumb. “You thinking about Robert?“

Aaron nods without saying anything and this dull ache is back in his chest.

“You know I Iove Robert like a son but the things that happened-” She sighs. “He let you go, he wants you to live your life. So do it? It’s been on hold for too long. Over for years Aaron. You’re still so young, life still has so much to give you. You know I’d never push you to do anything you don’t want to do and if you feel you can’t do it then don’t but maybe tonight's gonna be fun and if you don’t go you’ll never find out. It’s a drink that’s all, right.“

“Mhhhhhh.“ Aaron grumbles, biting his lip nervously. 

“What is it you want Aaron?“

He stands up and walks over to the window, looking down at their driveway.

“It’s difficult. I thought I sorted my feels and I’d be ok with you know being with Ara and no one else but I miss having someone.“

His mum softly smiles. “When isn’t it difficult, loves the most difficult thing.“

“It’s just a drink.“ Aaron whispers to himself.

“Do you like Tom?“ His mum startles him from his thoughts.

He turns around. “Yeah he’s a nice bloke.“

Chas stands up and gently strokes along Aarons upper arm. “Then go for that drink and see how you feel.“

He nods.

“And wear the black jumper it makes your chest come out very nice.“ She giggles and turns her son into a hug.

He puts his arms around her, taking in his mums warmth.

“I love you so much, I want you to be happy.“

Suddenly there’s a more arms around his waist.

“I want cuddles too!“ Ara tries to put her arms around Aaron and Chas. 

“You can have all the cuddles muffin.“ He lifts her up in his arms and puts a big kiss on her cheek.

“You alright staying with Nana Chas tonight?“

The little girl smiles. “Yes sleepover party with Eve and Grandad Paddy promised to built a blanket tent for us.“

“That sounds great baby, have fun. See you tomorrow.“

He puts her down and she runs over to Chas.

“Love you daddy.“

“Love you too muffin.“

Chas winks at him and they both disappear out of the door.

Aaron walks over to the closet and gets the black jumper out. He puts it on and looks in the mirror. His chest does look pretty good in this one. He also decides to wear the black bomber jacket and some jeans. He always prefered comfortable and casual clothes.

It’s half an hour later and he walks down the stairs to bar west. It’s been years that he was at the bar and the sight of it brings back flashbacks he isn‘t prepared for. He stops on the stairs and leans on the wall for a bit.

“Aaron?“

Suddenly there’s a hand on his shoulder and he loses his footing on the stairs. The strong hand is grabbing his upper arm to steady him.

“Sorry mate didn’t mean to startle you.“

Aaron looks at the other man. It’s Jeff the barman.

“Jeff.“ Aaron lets out a breath.

“Good to see you, it’s been a while.“ The barman smiles at him.

“Yeah you know life being busy and all.“

“You look good.“ Jeff lets go of his upper arm and looks Aaron up and down, it makes him blush.

Jeff always was a flirt, some things don’t change.

“Right gotta get to work, your first drinks on me yeah and maybe we can catch up later if you want.“

Aaron smiles and slowly follows Jeff down the stairs. The place looks nice, almost the same than years before. They have new lights and a couple of new decorations. Some of the chairs have been changed but other than that it looks the same. It makes Aaron‘s fast heartbeat calm down a bit. Bar west has always been his favorite place for drinks.

He looks around if Tom’s already here but he can’t see him. So he takes the free beer that Jeff offered and chats with him for a while. After a bit he sits down on a table in the corner where he can have a good look at the entrance.

Ten minutes later he sees Tom stumbling down the stairs in a hurry. His face is flushed and a bit red, probably from running here. His blonde hair is softly falling on the side. He’s wearing a leather jacket and blue jumper. He looks good, Aaron notices. Tom’s eyes scan the room for a bit till he sees Aaron in the corner. He smiles and walks over to him.

“I’m so sorry that I’m late that bloody car again. I had to take the bus.“ He shrugs off his jacket and sits down opposite from Aaron. “You alright?“

Aaron laughs and leans back on his chair. “I’m alright yeah.“

Tom looks at Aaron’s empty beer bottle and points over to the bar. “Want another one?“

“Yeah go on.“

He watches the other man get up and walk over to the bar. He can’t but stare at his beautiful formed backside and Aaron blushes a bit. He looks really fit.

Tom sits down again and puts the beer in front of Aaron.

“Cheers.“ He smiles at him.

They sit in quiet for a bit, taking in their surroundings.

“Ara alright?“

“Yeah thanks she’s with her gran tonight. Super excited for a sleepover party.“

Tom’s eyes are soft and Aaron watches him take a sip from his beer bottle.

“So did you always want to work with children?“ Aaron doesn’t really know how to start the conversation and asks awkwardly.

“Yeah I always liked kids. Got three annoying little siblings you know.“ He laughs loud and cute crinkles appear around his mouth.

“My Mum used to work at the youth welfare service too and supported disabled kids. We often had kids around she took care off. She was wonderful with them and I wanted to help too.“

“That’s nice and you’re really good with them.“ 

Aaron drinks more of his beer.

Tom’s eyes sparkle and he smiles. “Thanks. What about you? Always wanted to be a mechanic?“

The other man turns his head a bit and Aaron’s eyes wander to the long scar on his neck. He blinks and puts his focus back on Tom.

“I lived with my uncle for a bit. He owned the garage and well let’s say I was a bit tempered when I was young and school wasn’t my thing. My uncle gave me a chance to work for him and yeah I always liked cars.“

“Your mum and dad not around.“

Aaron grips his beer bottle tight and the other man seems to sense his slight distress. He’d moved on after his father was sentenced to 18 years in prison and in the end had killed himself there. It took him years of counseling but it’s still hard for him to talk about it.

“Sorry if that’s too private.“ Tom apologizes.

Aaron shakes his head and swallows. “It’s ok. My parents split up when I was younger and I lived with Go – my father for a bit but I got back to my Mum when I was sixteen and yeah Cain was there for us all the time.“

“You’re not seeing your dad anymore?“ 

„He’s dead.“

Tom looks down on the table and back at Aaron again. “I’m sorry.“

Aaron coughs and plays with the label of his beer bottle. “Don’t be.“ He doesn’t deserve it, he adds the words in mind.

“God sorry I didn’t mean for the conversation to get so deep. Another beer?“

Tom stands up and gets them another drink and some vodka shots.

The alcohol does it’s thing and both men seem to feel lighter. They’re not drunk but Aaron doesn’t feel the ache in his chest anymore instead it bubbles in his chest when he sees Tom smile at him.

They talk about random things, favorite music, football and food. And Aaron finds out that Tom’s into Indie music just like him and they’ve been to the same concert once and that he’s also not fussy about food and he prefers toast with butter to a posh breakfast. They also agree that german beer is the best beer. Aaron feels light and comfortable in the other mens presence.

“You really need to teach me things about this car though, it’s doing my head in.“ The other man giggles and Aaron loves the sounds of it. 

“I could yeah, private lessons at the garage?“

Both men laugh loudly and clink bottles.

“You know-” Aaron starts. “Cars are so much easier to handle than most people. Quieter.”

Aaron’s gazes wanders around and he looks at all the people dancing and drinking.

He suddenly feels a light touch on his fingertips and sees Tom softly bumping his fingers against Aaron’s. His eyes are soft and he’s got this nice pink color on his cheeks.

“You don’t like being around people then?“

Aaron bites his lip slightly. “Not really. Only special people.“

Tom blushes and takes his hand away to scratch at his chin. “Can I take this as a compliment or are you just after my car?“

“What? Oh.“

Aaron looks on his phone and starts to get up. “I think it’s time to head off.“

Tom is a bit confused but gets up and puts his jacket on. “Yeah you’re right. I guess.“

They walk out of the bar together and stop in front of the entrance.

“This was nice.“ Tom says and shyly looks at Aaron.

Then a group of people is passing them on the sidewalk and they accidentally push Tom towards Aaron who’s back is pressed onto one of the entrance doors. Their hips touch and Aaron can feel Tom’s breath on his lips. He can feel his heartbeat drumming in his chest. The other man looks him directly in the eyes. Aaron can see the different kind of brown colors there. He takes in a deep breath and his eyes wander down to Tom’s lips. They are bright pink and look soft. Aaron moves his head closer and their noses almost touch. That’s when Aaron feels that pain in his chest again and it stings. It takes his breath away for a bit. He pushes Tom away from him hard, it almost makes the other man fall over. Aaron looks at him in shock and wants to apologize but he can’t get the words out. He puts his hands over his mouth instead and starts running.

“Aaron, no, please wait!“ he hears Tom shout after him.

But he doesn’t want to stop, can’t stop and so he keeps on running.

A couple of blocks later he has to stop because his breathing is erratic and he can’t get any air in. He leans over and puts his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath.

Why on earth did he have to push Tom. It was him who felt like kissing the other man. Tom didn’t do anything. He cursed himself for his reaction and brings his fist on his forehead, rubbing it hard.

After a while his breathing calms down and he’s able to stand up straight again. He looks around and sees the bus stop on the other side of the road. He’s lucky and there’s a bus picking him up a couple of minutes later. He rest his forehead on the cold window and nods of for a bit.

He gets off the bus at the bus stop in emmerdale. He’s tired and sits himself down at the bus stop watching the bus drive away.

He closes his eyes for a bit.

“You know there’s no bus coming anymore tonight?“

His eyes pop open and he sees Victoria standing in front of him.

“Rough evening?“

That’s just Vic always saying what she’s thinking. It actually makes Aaron smile a bit. Aaron’s not seeing Victoria that often anymore. After Robert went to prison and cut his ties with him and his family, she gave birth to her little son Adrian. Emmerdale held too many bad memories for her so she moved away. She’s living up north now and only visits sometimes. She’s met a new nice bloke and they got married last year. That was the last time he’s seen her.

She sits down next to him.

“How’s Adrian?“ His voice sounds rough and his throat still feels tight from all the running.

She puts her hair behind her ear. It’s longer now again and Aaron likes it better that way.

“He’s doing good thank you. Adrian‘s growing too fast, it’s scary. But you would know with Ara right. How’s she?“

“She’s good proper little girl now, driving me mad, but she’s a good kid.“ He laughs.

Victoria puts her hand on his knee. “How are you?“

They both were hurting for so long. They’d started to resent each other after Rob left them. Aaron blamed Victoria for losing Robert and Victoria blamed Aaron for not looking out for Robert enough so he never could have gone after Lee. They both lashed out and only Ara’s and Adrian’s birth brought things back to perspective and they made up with each other again.

He lifts his head and looks at her. Her brown eyes sparkle in the moonlight. She looks happy but her eyes still carry this sadness. The same sadness his eyes carry. It’s almost faded away but he sees it and he knows Victoria can still see it too.

“I’m good yeah. Life is busy you know. I own the garage now since Cain retired and want to enjoy life. Things good with Leon?“

“Yes he’s really good to me and he adores Adrian. And you?“

The word Robert hangs in the air, heavy like a ton of bricks threatening to fall on them.

“Saw your Mum earlier. She said you been on a date. She was dead chuffed for you.”

Aaron looks way. Typical his mum and her big gob.

“Did it not went well?“

He stands up and leans himself onto the wall of the bus stop.

“Screwed it up didn’t I? Like I always do.“ He sighs.

Victoria gets up as well and goes to stand next to him.

“Because of Robert?“

“Vic please don’t.“

She walks around him and stops right in front of him forcing him to look at her.

“He let you go Aaron. He set you, us, free so we can have a live. Stop holding back because of him.“

Aaron looks away. “I don’t need a lecture.“

“No, Aaron look at me.“ 

He slowly turns his head back to look at her.

“He wants you to be happy. Be happy. I love my brother you know that but he left us. Don’t stay left behind as well. Think of Ara, think of yourself.“

Victoria sighs once more “Sorry I really didn’t-”

“It’s ok and I know you’re right but it’s difficult ok, it’s difficult.“

She nods. “I know. Aaron I know. Just promise me to be happy, you deserve to be happy.“

Aaron shrugs. He knows she’s right, knows that everyone’s right and he is happy with Ara and all. He wants to be happy. He thinks back to the night earlier and him and Tom. It had felt good to joke around with the other man and being so close to him made his heart flutter in excitement. But his heart couldn’t fully let go.

Victoria gets her car keys out and goes to hug Aaron. “You should come around soon and bring Ara.” She kisses his cheek softly and walks away.

Aaron watches her car leaving the village and then slowly makes his way home. The lights in the pub are off and everything’s dark when he passes it. He looks up to the window where he knows is Eve’s bedroom and he’s hoping the girls are having a good night.

He’s dropping the keys twice before he gets it in the lock and opens the door to the mill. It’s quiet and he doesn’t even turn the lights on. He just makes his way to the bedroom and lets himself fall on the bed fully clothed. He closes his eyes and falls asleep.

Aaron wakes up with a banging headache and banging on the front door. It’s his Mum telling him she’s gonna take the kids out for lunch and he better get moving and be decent when she brings back Ara later.

He drags himself out of bed and takes a shower. His mum brings Ara around in the afternoon and she tries to get out any informations about how his evening went. He’s not in the mood to talk and tells her he’s too hungover. She isn’t happy but lets it go. He watches some movies with Ara before bed and puts her to sleep later.

He didn’t check his phone once feeling guilty about how he left Tom yesterday. He should really call him but he doesn’t have the guts yet, so ignores it.

The next days go quick and he’s good in avoiding his Mums questions and getting Ara from nursery. On thursday his Mum texts him that she had to pick up Eve sooner from nursery because she wasn’t feeling well and he has to get Ara himself. He kicks himself in his mind because he still hasn’t spoken to Tom again. He probably doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore. Tom sent him some text the last days but the nothing anymore. He can’t really blame the other man. He was a mess no one would want someone like him.

Aaron parks his car in front of the nursery and puts his hoodie up, hoping he can just sneak in quickly. When he gets into the building he see his daughter and of course it’s Tom whos standing next to her. He stops and hides himself around the corner. He feels silly and awkward. Why is he not just talking to Tom and explains him why he reacted that way.

“Ara is in her classroom Mr. Dingle.”

He turns around startled and Mr Hawkins is standing behind him.

He nods and walks over to Ara’s classroom and Tom is still speaking to his daughter.

“Where was your shoe when you last saw it Ara. Did you put it in the wardrobe.”

Ara walks around Tom and looks for her shoe.

The both haven’t noticed Aaron standing there yet so he coughs slightly.

Ara looks up and runs over to Aaron. “Mr Rogers is helping me find my other shoe. Oh I think I left it in the bathroom.” She waves her arms around and runs over to the restrooms.

Aaron doesn’t know where to look at so he just looks on the floor.

Tom comes over and holds Ara’s shoe towards him. Aaron takes it and shyly looks up. The other man doesn’t seem angry but also doesn’t smile at him. His face is unreadable again and Aaron wishes they’d talked about last weekend already.

“Hello.” His voice sounds stern.

“Hi.” Aaron awkwardly steps from one foot on the other. “Look Tom I’m sorry for last weekend.”

Tom shakes his head and licks his lips. “You don’t have to apologize Aaron, just forget it. It’s fine.”

“No I don’t want to forget it. I -”

“I’ve found the shoe.” Ara walks over and takes the shoe out of Aaron’s hand.

She quickly puts her coat on and grabs Aaron’s arm. “ Let’s go daddy I wanna go and see Eve and if she’s doing better.”

He looks at Tom once more whose face has gone soft and he can see sparkles in his eyes again.

“I’m sorry.” Aaron lets his shoulders fall.

“Don’t be. Bye Aaron.” Tom turns around walking into the classroom without looking back again.

Aaron feels like the worst person ever and he just wants to make things right with Tom. It feels weird but he cares about Tom. He doesn’t want to be reason for Tom to be sad. He wants to see him again.

Ara pulls on his hand again. He looks at the closed classroom door but then follows his daughter outside.

Eve is doing fine again the next week and Paddy is taking the kids to nursery monday morning. He sees him coming back when he’s just making his way out of town to get some car parts for one of his customers cars.

He waves at him signing to stop and he opens the window so they can talk.

“Morning Aaron.”

“Hey Paddy. I’m off to town to get some car parts, can’t really stop.”

He leans his arms on the car so Aaron can’t drive away.

“What kind of parts are you gonna get in town and by the way your mum’s worried about you.”

Paddy tries to overplay the last question and smiles brightly.

Aaron rolls his eyes. “She’s always worried.”

His stepfather looks at the pub and back at Aaron “Because she loves you.”

Aaron knows that. They all love him and supported him so much the last years, with his grieve, with Ara.

“Your date didn’t work out then?”

Aaron looks out of the windscreen and sees Moira and Isaac walking down the road.

“It was nice but then I bottled it and screwed it up you know me.”

Paddy touches Aaron’s arm. “I know you’re the most amazing person and you always try to make things right when you screwed up. Why not talk to him again?”

Aaron rolls his shoulders and puts his hands on the steering wheel. “I’m scared to get hurt again. I’m a scared that he’ll resent me.”

The other man let’s go of the car and takes a step back.

Aaron can see what Paddy's thinking but the word Robert stays unsaid.

“All I’m saying is listen to your heart and guts. I know you’ll do the right thing.”

Paddy waves his hands around in his awkward Paddy way and it makes Aaron smile. He starts the car and makes his way to town.

Aaron gets the car parts he needs and drives his car in the direction of the village hall of Hotten. He remembers Tom saying that he works in the village hall Thursday and Fridays. He doesn’t really know why he drives over to the village hall of Hotten. He parks his car a couple of metres away and he also doesn’t know why he’s hiding next to the bushes at the moment lurking through one of the windows to look for Tom. He just knows that he couldn’t stop thinking about the other man and wants to put things right just like Paddy said.

Aaron needs to get on his tiptoes to see Tom properly. He feels a bit silly and ridiculous hiding in the bushes. There’s a bunch of kids in the hall. A girl in a wheelchair and a boy with crutches and a couple of more kids. Tom plays the guitar and all the kids sing along and smile. They all seem super happy and excited. The blonde man looks like he’s the shining light in the room. Everyone’s attention is on him.

“Can I help you sir?”

A voice startles Aaron and he almost falls over into one of the bushes. He steadies himself and coughs awkwardly.

The older woman looks at him in confusion. “Are you here to see Tom? Do you need any help.”

Aaron shakes his head. “No, no it’s fine I was just-“

The woman comes closer and puts a hand on his shoulder. “It’s alright young man I can get him for you.”

“No really it’s fine. He’s busy I’ll come later.” He stutters slightly and hopes the woman won’t go in and get Tom.

He wouldn’t even know what to say to him.

She looks at him for a second and then nods.

“He’s a good lad our Tom isn’t he? So good with the kids, kind and caring. The kids love him. He’s not had it easy though with the accident and all.”

“The accident?” Aaron looks questioning at the older woman.

She looks through the window and her eyes get watery.

Aaron takes a step back. “Sorry it’s not really my business, not that I know him that well.”

“He’s had an accident two years ago. Barely survived it. The windshield had almost sliced him in a half.”

Aaron shudders and goes to lift his hands so the woman would stop speaking. She looks away though and keeps on talking.

“He came through though. His boyfriend - Jamie - didn’t. He died on the spot, the paramedics couldn’t do anything. I think he still blames himself because he was driving the car. But it was the Lorry drivers fault, he missed a red light. Ah I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said all this.” The woman puts her hands over her mouth. “I just care so much about Tom he’s like a son. Anyway what did you want from Tom again?”

Aaron looks inside the hall one more time. Tom’s reading a book for the kids now and he makes funny voices and all the kids laugh loudly.

“I’ll - I’ll come another time.”

He quickly walks over to his car ignoring the older woman.

He turns on the engine and drives home.


	7. Let me share your pain (or second chances)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again this is unbeta'd so there might be grammar mistakes and the tenses might be mixed up sometimes, I am sorry for that. I tried. Hope you still enjoy reading it and let me know what you think and if I should keep on writing, thanks! <3
> 
> Also warnings because of the mention of scars and a car accident.

It takes Aaron two more days till he decides to talk to Tom again. He tries to catch him after nursery when he’s picking up Ara but every time he goes there Tom’s already gone or busy.

That’s why he’s parking his car in front of the village hall again and knocks on the door. There’s no answer and he tries to open it but it’s locked. He sighs in frustration.

“The meeting is already over.”

He hears a voice behind him and turns around. It’s the old woman from two days ago again.

“Oh, it’s the young man from two days ago. Are you here to see Tom again?”

Aaron wrinkles his eyebrows. “Yeah I hoped I could fínd him here today.”

He looks back to the closed village hall door and lets his shoulders sag. “Guess I’m too late.”

The older woman studies him and her face turns soft. “Sometimes after the meetings he goes over to the cemetery. Maybe you’ll catch him there.” She points her hand over to the cemetery next to the village hall.

“Right, thank you.”

He starts walking but his steps get slower the closer he gets to the cemetery. He stops in front of the entrance and just peaks his head in to look around the place. There’s two woman sitting on a bench and an old man planting flowers on one of the graves. Then he sees him. Tom’s laying flowers down on a grave. He seems deep in thoughts and puts his hands in his pockets. He talks a bit but Aaron can’t make out what he’s saying because he’s whispering. Aaron feels like he’s intruding a very private moment so he steps back. A couple of minutes pass and he looks back over to the man. Tom’s touching the headstone of the grave now and smiling. He wipes at his face and then walks off. Aaron steps backwards and his back is connecting with the open door and a loud wince escapes his mouth. Tom being startled looks up and sees him standing there. There’s confusion on his face but he makes his way over to where Aaron’s standing.

Aaron just stands there waiting. It’s nice to see the other man again. He looks good in his leather jacket and scarf and Aaron notices that he’s had a haircut.

Tom greet’s the two women sitting on the bench and then stops in front of Aaron.

“What are you doing here Aaron?” His eyes look stern but there’s tiny crinkles around his mouth when he’s smiling a bit.

“I want to talk to you. I want to apologize.” Aaron lowers his eyes to the floor.

Tom shakes his head. “I told you, you don’t have to. And it’s ok if you don’t want to meet again.”

Aaron lifts his head up quickly at that and grips the other man’s wrist. There’s this spark when their skin touch and both man look at each other in surprise.

“I want - I want you to meet again. Please let me explain what happened with me at our night out.”

Tom puts his other hand on Aaron’s who’s still holding onto the other man’s wrist.

“Do you really want that?”

Aaron nods and he feels his cheeks flush a bit.

“I want that.”

“Ok.” Tom‘s eyes sparkle and he smiles. “I know you’ve been here this week. Mrs Pattinson told me there was a good looking lad asking for me the other day.” The man grins.

They let go of each other’s hands and Aaron runs his hand through his hair.

“Yeah, I was here. The old lady, Mrs Pattinson, told me you might be here.” Aaron’s adam’s apple bobs nervously. “She told me about Jamie.”

Tom gets this sad painful look on his face and Aaron wants to hug him and make him smile again. 

“Oh right.“ He blinks and tries to hold back the tears.

Aaron puts his hand on the other man's shoulder. “I’m really sorry.”

Tom puts his hand over Aaron’s. “Thank you.”

The both men slowly make their way over to where Aaron’s car is parked.

“So-“ Aaron starts speaking. “Erm would you be up for coming around mine on the weekend? I’m not really a good cook but we could get a take away pizza?”

“Take away pizza sounds good. Text me when yeah?”

Aaron opens the car door to get in.

“Aaron.”

He looks up again at the other man.

“Thanks for finding me again and talking to me.”

Aaron blushes again and nods. “I’ll text you.”

He texts Tom the next morning and invites him for Saturday. He plans it all out in his head that’s why he’s currently walking over to David’s shop with a frustrated frown on his face. He’s forgotten the beer and crisps. In the shop he grabs it in a hurry and makes his way over to the counter where David’s chatting with Pearl.

He looks at his watch and realizes that Tom is coming around in 20 minutes and he really needs to hurry.

Pearl and David keep on chatting away and Aaron coughs loudly.

“Oh Aaron I didn’t see you there. How are you love and how’s that little cute girl of yours?“

„Yeah fine thanks, I’m actually really in a hurry.“ His words out come quick.

„Young people these days, always in a hurry.“ She steps aside and lets Aaron to the counter.

He pays David and rushes out of the shop. When he’s outside he sees his Mum with Ara on her arms walking down the road towards the mill. Aaron stops and waits for them to catch up. Ara hides her face in Chas’s neck.

“The little one here isn’t feeling well. She’s got a bit of a temperature and she wanted her Daddy. I’m sorry Aaron I know you’ve got plans tonight.“ Chas looks apologetic at her son.

Aaron shakes his head and takes Ara out of his mum’s arms. He puts his hand on Ara’s forehead. 

“Hey muffin how are you?“ 

She feels hot to the touch and hides her face in his shoulder. “I’m tired Daddy.“

He pats her head softly. “It’s alright baby I’m gonna make you feel better okay?“

“I told her she can stay with us and we’ll take care of her, but she wanted you.“ Chas adds.

“It’s fine really no problem. I can see Tom another time.“

They say goodbye to Chas and walk back home. When they arrive at the mill Aaron can already see Tom’s car parked in the driveway. He should have texted him that tonight wouldn’t happen.

Tom waves when he sees Aaron and Ara appear in the driveway. Ara is softly sobbing into his shoulder and Aaron struggles to hold the shopping bags when the other man moves towards them and takes the bag before it falls to the ground.

“Hi you two.“ Tom smiles and Aaron’s staring at him with big eyes. “You alright?“

Aaron coughs. “Yeah, hi! I’m sorry I should have texted you but Ara’s got a bit of a temperature and can’t stay with my Mum so we can’t have our evening alone.“

The other man shrugs. “We could make it an evening for three. I can tell the best get well stories.“ He laughs.

Ara lifts her head. She’s got flushed cheeks and her eyes are watery. “Aw can we please?“

Aaron looks at Tom again. “If that’s alright with you? We still could order some pizza?“

The other man puts his thumb up. “Perfect.“

The three of them make their way inside and Aaron puts Ara on their couch with a blanket.

Aaron goes to the kitchen and puts the shopping away. He looks over to the sofa and sees Tom and his daughter chatting and smiling. The other man suddenly gets up and walks over to the kitchen.

“She wants some water.”

Aaron gets a glass out and pours some water in it and gives it to Tom.

“Are you sure this alright? I had it planned differently.“

“It’s fine Aaron, I don’t mind her being here.“

Aaron nods. “I’ll order us some pizza for later then yeah. What do you prefer?“

“Yeah that’s nice. Erm salami pizza please.“

He watches Tom walk back over to the living room. He sits down next to his daughter and helps her drinking some of the water. She drinks it down and snuggles herself back under the blanket.

Aaron calls the pizza delivery service and orders the pizza and then joins the two on the couch.

Tom’s in the middle of telling a story and Ara’s focused on his voice not even blinking.

Aaron musters the other man. He likes the new haircut. He’s wearing a grey henley top which sits tight around his chest. His brown eyes get bigger when he comes to the part of the princess and the monster. He’s totally into the story and it makes Aaron smile.

Ara giggles. “Daddy the princess is gonna save the monster because princesses can fight too.“ Her eyes shine and she quickly puts her attention back to Tom.

Aaron ruffles her hair softly. “Course because they’re super strong.“

He smiles at Tom who’s eyes light up and he grins back happily.

Ara‘s temperature goes down later in the evening and Aaron puts her to bed an hour later. He carefully closes her bedroom door and walks down the stairs on tiptoes. 

Tom’s in the kitchen just putting the pizza boxes down. He hears Aaron come down the stairs and looks up.

“Hope it’s ok I let them in and took the pizzas?“

Aaron nods and gestures to Tom to sit down at the kitchen table. He gets some beers out and sits down opposite of the other man. They have a quiet chat and talk about what they been doing the last days while they’re eating their pizzas.

Half an hour later Tom lifts his arms over his head and yawns. “This was really good, you have to give me the number of the delivery service.“

“Yeah sure. Erm do you wanna have another beer and move this over to the couch?“

Tom smiles. “Yeah go on.” 

Aaron puts the pizza boxes away and both men grab their beers and sit down on the couch. He watches the other man look around the living room. He smiles and lets out a laugh.

“What?“ Aaron asks.

The other man puts one leg on the couch to sit more comfortable. “Me being here now, with you, after all the weird situations we met before.“

Aaron chuckles and rubs his forehead “Yeah it’s been some weird weeks.“

“When I first saw you in the supermarket I knew I wanted to see you again.“ Tom looks at him.

“Even after I ran out on you like that and had a go at you?“ Aaron questions.

“Yeah. I don’t know call it intuition or something but I knew you are special and fit by the way.”

Aaron blushes. “Thanks, I suppose.“

Tom laughs and it warms Aaron’s heart. It’s genuine and soft.

“And same.“ Aaron shyly adds.

“Yeah?“ Tom’s voice is soft.

“Yeah.“

The the other man shuffles a bit closer to where Aaron’s sitting on the couch.

Aaron’s eyes wander over his face and his gaze stops on Tom’s neck. The scar shines bright pink and Aaron can’t help to stare it for some seconds.

Tom realises what Aaron’s looking at and puts his hand over it to cover the scar.

“Does it still hurt?“ Aaron asks with a hushed voice.

The man shakes his head. “Not really, sometimes when the weather is bad I can feel it more.“

“I’m sorry. I don’t know-” Aaron struggles with his words. He doesn’t want to scare Tom away.

“It’s ok, you can ask me about it. We said we’d talk right.“ Tom looks reassuring at him. 

“The accident was bad wasn’t it?“

Tom nods. “I was driving. Jamie and I just came back from a fun night out and then the lorry hit us. I know it was the lorry drivers fault but I can’t help to think that I could have avoided the crash if I had looked out better.“ He lowers his head and sighs.“I still can hear Jamie's screams at night sometimes. It’s better now but sometimes it still happens.“

Aaron looks at the other man and can see the pain in his eyes. He softly puts his hand on his knee.

“Do you miss him?“

“His last words to me were that he wanted me to promise him to be happy, even without him. I was so angry at him for such a long time after he died, I didn’t even let myself grieve. How could I be happy without him. I went to counseling and they made me see how it’s not my fault and also not Jamies. I learned to let go of all the anger and started to grieve. I miss him yeah. I promised him to be happy though. And this might sound cheesy but you were the first person who really made me smile again. You and Ara.“

He puts his hand over Aaron’s. “So if you’d give me the chance to get to know you closer I’d really like that. There’s no pressure though ok? We don’t have to rush anything.“

Aaron swallows. “I do want that, it’s just, things happened in my life too and it’s still a bit hard.” 

Tom’s eyes go soft. „Robert.“

Aaron nods his head and takes his hand away. “Yeah.“

“You don’t have to tell me it’s ok.“

Aaron runs his hand through his hair and sighs. “That’s just it, I still let it hold me back when I shouldn’t. I like you Tom but I’m so scared another person is gonna leave me. I can’t do it again.“

“It’s ok, I understand.“

Aaron feels his insides ache. Tears start to swell in his eyes. 

“Robert, we were married and then his sister got raped and he couldn’t deal with it. And the man who raped her didn’t let go, came around to the village and harassed her and our family. Robert lost it and hit him. The man died after a couple of weeks because of his head injury. Robert got 38 years for it.“

The tears in his eyes spill over and he wipes them away with his sleeves violently. He hadn’t talked about this for a while so it hits him full force but he had to let it out.

Aaron can see Tom move but then he stops in his tracks unsure what to do. He then takes Aaron’s hand away from his face and holds it softly, his fingers around the other man’s wrist.

“And we promised each other we’d get through this but then I got a letter saying he wants a divorce. He cut off all contact. In his letter he said he’s letting me go to live my life. I was so angry and went totally off the rails. Only Ara’s arrival gave my life a meaning again. I was a big mess.“

Tom looks at him with tears in his eyes. “Do you still love him?“

Aaron closes his eyes for a bit more tears escaping his eyes. “I always will but I let go like he wanted me to do. It’s just so hard and –” 

His breathing gets erratic and he feels himself slipping. More tears spill over and he squeezes them shut. Then he feels something soft touching his wrist, stroking over his pulse point there, over and over again.

“Come on Aaron, breath, in and out, steadily.“

He hears the other man’s voice but it’s hard to focus. There’s a hand on his chest now too which presses on it softly. It grounds him and he tries to open his eyes.

“In and out.“ He looks at Tom. His hazelnut brown eyes look sad but understanding. He tries to copy the other man’s breathing and after a bit he gets it under control. Tom gently takes his hand off his chest but keeps his fingers around his wrist. Aaron likes the touch, it helps him calm down.

With his other hand he rubs over his face in shame. He hides his face away.

“Don’t hide away Aaron. It’s ok. I understand it hurts.“

Aaron nods not having his voice back yet.

“He must love you very much if he let you go.“ Tom's voice is kind.

“I didn’t want him to let me go.“ Aaron’s shoulders fall. “But I am through with this, just sometimes it hits me again, I’m sorry.“

Tom shakes his head but smiles. “Please don’t, like I said don’t apologize.“

Aaron looks at the other man. “I want this, you. Getting to know you. But my head sometimes still tells people you won’t stay with me in the end. God I am sorry that’s way too deep for a first date. You must think I’m weird.” 

“Second date and yeah I think you’re weird. But I like your kind of weird. A lot.“ Tom‘s face lights up and his eyes get this sparkle again. “I like you Aaron. We really don’t have to rush things I have to work on my feelings too. So let’s just do it together, slow?“

“Yeah.“ Aaron leans over to the living room table and grabs their beers, handing one over to Tom.

They clink bottles and Aaron feels like there’s a weight off his chest now and he can breath easier.

Tom takes a sip from the bottle and smiles. “That was really deep wasn’t it?“

“I’m usually not really that much of a talker and I don’t cry on my dates like that.“ Aaron laughs awkwardly.

For the rest of the evening the two man just enjoy each others company. They talk about random things, their family and watch a classic movie. Aaron feels comfortable and light in the other man’s presence.

Later in the night Aaron yawns and tiredly rubs his eyes. 

“Right, I should get going shouldn’t I?“ Tom stands up from the couch and gets his jacket.

Aaron walks with him over to the front door.

“This was a very nice evening.“ The other man says. 

“It was yeah. Besides my break down.“ Aaron tries to smile.

Both men look at each other shyly. Aaron notices the other man staring at his lips and he doesn’t know what to feel.

Tom moves forwards and takes his hand in his own letting his thumb wander over his skin. 

“Hope I can see you soon Aaron.“

He feels soft lips pressing against his cheeks and eyelashes flutter against his skin. He can feel the other man’s breath and it gives him goosebumps and a rush of fire runs through his body. He doesn’t dare to move and closes his eyes. It’s nice this feeling, having someone that close. He doesn’t notice that he grabbed Tom’s hand and they were holding onto each other tight now. Tom lets go after a while and takes a step back. He smiles awkwardly at Aaron. He’s still feeling the heat in his face and he nervously plays with the sleeves of his hoodie. 

“I hope I can see you soon too.“

The other man nods and walks out of the door. “Bye Aaron.“

As soon as he’s gone Aaron leans against the closed door and has to steady his breathing. He feels hot. He softly touches his cheek were seconds earlier Tom’s lips had touched his skin. He feels a bit silly because his heart is beating fast. He’s no freaking teenager anymore but he thinks there’s butterflies in his tummy and he laughs at himself. His heart feels light and warm.

Before he goes to bed he has a quick look into Ara’s room. His daughter is sleeping peacefully.

He falls asleep with a smile and warm heart.


	8. Surprise? (and a kiss)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again this is unbeta'd so there might be grammar mistakes and the tenses might be mixed up sometimes, I am sorry for that. I tried. Hope you still enjoy reading it and let me know what you think and if I should keep on writing, thanks! <3

They date a couple more times the next weeks and it’s getting closer to christmas. A time Aaron always dreads because the last few Christmases felt cold and lonely even though he had his family around. 

Aaron drops off Ara at nursery this morning and makes his way over to the garage.

“Aaron wait up.“

He turns around and sees his Mum standing in the door of the pub, waving at him. He walks back to her and greets her with a quick hug.

“What’s up? I gotta get going and open up the garage. Cain’s not working this week.“

Chas softly pulls at Aarons jacket and smiles. “How are you love? We haven’t talked in a while, you being busy with seeing Tom. You want to tell me something?“

“Something like?“ Aaron knows what his Mum’s getting at but he doesn’t know what to say to it.

“Found yourself a boyfriend then, have you?“ His Mum just blurts it out.

Aaron rolls is eyes a bit. Boyfriend. He hasn’t really thought about that to be honest. He enjoys his time with Tom and they see each other regulary. Ara’s crazy over him and they get along so well. They said they’d take it slow though. They hadn’t even kissed properly yet. He feels good about things though and he still doesn’t wanna rush things. His mind wanders to Robert.

“Aaron?“

He blinks and looks at his Mum. “We’re friends and I enjoy having him around. It’s not that easy though he’s lost someone and things are bit difficult.“

Chas’s face goes soft and she looks at him with kind eyes. “But you like him, don’t you?“

Aaron thinks of yesterday‘s movie night and Tom falling asleep on him. His head resting on Aaron’s shoulder, softly snoring away. Aaron loves the warmth the other man always radiates. It makes him feel safe and warm. He watched Tom sleep for a bit and then carefully but his arm around him. It felt good to have him pressed against his side. His eyes lashes rested softly on his cheeks and he looked peacefully. He looked beautiful. 

"I do yeah.“

She squeezes his arm. “I mean if you want, you could bring him to our christmas dinner?“

Aaron chuckles. “What? Crazy christmas with the Dingles? I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.“

His Mum’s looks a bit sad but then punches his arm gently. “Best christmas and you know it.“

Aaron can’t help but laugh. “Yeah Ara loves it.“ He thinks about Tom telling him that he used to love christmas but since Jamie he didn’t really have a christmas. “I guess I could ask him.“

Chas smiles happily and nodds. She places a quick kiss on his cheek. “Come around for tea tonight. Eve wants show her cooking skills to her brother and cousin.“

He watches her disappear into the house and walks over to the garage. He’s got some quick jobs on today and he has to drive over to Hotten to get some car parts. The morning flies away quick and it’s time to get Ara from nursery. It’s his fave time of the day. Seeing his little girl again, wrapping her in his arms. He has to admit he’s looking forward to see Tom too. 

Later he opens the door to nursery and as soon as Ara’s sees him shes’s running over to him and he lifts her up, twirling her around in the air.

“Hey my beautiful muffin I missed you.“

She presses her nose into his cheek and rubs her tiny fingers on his beard. “Missed you too Daddy.“ 

“You had a good day?“ Aaron squishes her cheek and Ara giggles.

“Yes I did some coloring and even played with Becca. She’s not mean to me anymore, she’s my friend now because she likes rainbows too.“ Ara says happily.

“That’s nice baby. Go and grab your stuff will you.“

He puts his daughter down and watches her running over to get her coat and bag.

Aaron hears voices down the hallway and turns around. He sees Tom and Mrs Hawkins talking. The man finishes his chat and walks over to where Aaron’s standing quickly.

“Aaron hi, it’s good to see you. I wanted to text you later.“

Tom’s brown eyes are sparkling at him and he notices he’s wearing less gel in his hair. It makes Aaron smile because he told the other man that he likes his hair fluffier instead of full of gel.

“Hi.“ Aaron answers softly.

The other man still makes him blush when they talk. It’s still all new for him to have those feelings again and sometimes he doesn’t know how to deal with them. Tom’s been great though, understanding, even if he’s battling with his own emotions.

“Are you free on Saturday? I got a little surprise for you?“ Tom seems excited.

“What, why? You don’t have to.“ Aaron waves his hands in the air.

“I want to, so are you free?“

“Ara’s having a sleep over at my Mum’s so yeah guess I’m free.“ 

Tom touches his shoulder. “Nice. Can you be at mine around 11?“

Aaron nods. Tom’s hand is still on his shoulder. They haven’t touched like that in public yet, especially not at the other man’s work. Aaron likes the feeling of having Tom‘s hand on his shoulder. He weirdly feels confident and good. 

Tom takes the hand off his shoulder when they see Ara walking towards them.

She smiles and holds a drawing in front of her.

“Look I drew a rainbow. Me and you under the raindbow.“ She seems pleased with it.

“Who’s that then?“ Aaron looks at the drawing and sees a third person on it.

Ara pushes her hand on her hip and frowns. “Tom, of course.“

The both man look at each other in surprise.

“That’s – that’s nice muffin.“

“He has to be with us under the rainbow because he makes you smile.“ The little girl shoves the drawing into Aarons hands and grabs the other one. “Can we go now daddy?“

Aaron blushes and Tom laughs.

“See you Saturday alright?“

Aaron just nods and then gets pulled toward the exit door.

The next couple of days go normal and then it’s Saturday. Aaron’s dropping Ara off at his Mum and drives over to Tom’s place. The other man’s already waiting outside when he pulls up on his drive way. He doesn’t stop the engine and Tom quickly climbs in the car. He looks good in his leather jacket. He has his hair like Aaron likes it.

“Hi, you look good.“ Tom says while he‘s fasten up his seat belt.

“You too.“ Aaron watches the other man closely. “So where are we off to?“

Tom looks excited and gives him an address somewhere in Leeds. Aaron looks questioning at the other man, raising an eyebrow.

“It’s a surprise don’t look at me like that.“ He laughs loudy and Aaron can see the tiny crinkles around his mouth again. He suddenly feels the urge to kiss them. Aaron looks at him for a while not blinking.

“You wanna start driving.“

Aaron blinks and shakes himself out of his trance. “Oh yeah sure.“

It’s a 20 minutes drive and they have nice chat about their week. Tom makes some funny jokes and Aaron laughs. He likes the other man’s ability to always make him laugh. He didn’t have much reasons to smile the last couple of years. It was only Ara who could light up his mood. Tom knows what to say to make him smile and he likes to smile for him.

Suddenly there’s a car swerfing in front of them and Aaron has to push the breaks hard and the car stops aprubtly. Aaron curses at the driver in front of them who’s turning into a different street now and disappears.

“What an idiot. Look at - …“

Aaron turns over to Tom and sees him staring out of the windscreen. He doesn’t blink. His left hand is grabbing the door handle tight and the other hand is balled into a fist in his lap, so tight you can see the white of his knuckles. He seems to be frozen but his breath comes out in short rasps.

“Tom?“ Aaron asks worringly and suddenly remembers the accident. Him pushing the breaks hard must have triggered something for Tom.

He drives on the side and turns off the engine. He unbuckles his seatbealt quickly so he can reach over to the other man. “Tom look at me, you’re safe ok. Nothing happend alright? I’m here.“ 

The other man almost doesn‘t react and Aaron grabs his hand from his lap and pushes it onto it his chest. He puts the other hand in Tom’s cheek and cups it softly.

“Feel my breathing. In and out, do it with me alrigth? Everything’s ok I promise.“

Aaron watches Tom closely. He blinks a couple of times and then puts his eyes away from the window and looks at Aaron. He lets go of the door handle and Aaron can see his chest rise and fall, slowly bringing his breathing back to a normal rythm.

“I’m sorry.“ A tear runs down his face.

Aaron catches it with his fingers and wipes and away.

“Hey, you got nothing to be sorry for, alright. You feeling ok now?“

Aaron takes his hand off the man’s face. Tom’s hand is still resting on Aaron’s chest.

“Yeah, I’m ok now. I thought I was past that, with all the counseling and all.“

Aaron feels for the other man, knowing how triggers can always get in the way and cause a panic like this.

“Thank you Aaron.“

He rubs his fingers over Tom’s hand still resting softly against his chest. 

“Nothing to thank me for. I’m here for you. So do I still get that surprise.“

Tom smiles and wipes the last tear away. “Yeah let’s go.“

Aaron drives to them their destination, even more carefully than before. The other man seems to be relaxed again though.

When they reach the address Tom gave them, Aaron can see it’s a big garage.

He parks the car in one of the parking spaces and they get out ofthe car together.

“A bit silly now with me having a panic attack in the car.“ Tom scratches his head. “But I know how much you like old BMW’s and an old friend of my dad collects those cars and I asked him if we could have look.“

Aaron eyes light up. “This is very nice of you thank you.“

Tom points his head over to the door. “Wanna have a look then?“

The man holds his hand out towards Aaron. He hesitates for a bit but then takes it and lets himself get pulled towards the entrance.

There’s loads of oldtimer BMW‘s and Aaron even gets to talk to an old mechanic who used to work for BMW in the early years. He’s allowed to drive one of his favorite cars and he feels super lucky. They joke and laugh and Aaron feels free and light.

After two hours they walk back to the parking lot.

“Woah that car was amazing and driving it was just - wow.“ Aaron‘s eyes light up and he’s got that big grin on his face.

Tom laughs. “You’re cute, you know that.“

Aaron stops next to his car and pulls a grumpy face but then smiles at the other man. “I am not cute.“

“Yeah you are.“ The other man teases.

“Thanks Tom, really this was great.“ Aaron touches his shoulder softly.

“I wanted to make you smile, I love it when you smile.“ 

Aaron blushes a bit and his eyes wander over the other man’s face.

Tom’s face is a bit flushed and he looks at Aaron with kind eyes.

Aaron feels this warm spreading all over his boy and his gaze stops at the other man’s lips.

He’s still in that rush and happiness and suddenly he takes a step closer to Tom. He loves the man’s dark brown eyes, the soft lines around his mouth. The crinkles around it when he laughs. Aaron brings his hand up to the other man’s face and runs his finger along his jaw till they rest on his lips.

Tom steps closer and their eyes lock together once more. Aaron feels like he’s getting lost in those eyes.

“Aaron.“ The man whispers softly and Aaron feels the little hairs on his skin stand up.

They’re so close to each other Aaron can feel Tom’s breath on his face. He puts his hand on his neck and pushes the man towards him, their lips connecting softly. Feeling the man’s lips on his Aaron can feel shudders running down his back. He feels hot and cold at the same time. After hesitating for a bit Tom passionately kisses him back. He puts his hands on Aaron‘s cheek and presses his fingers into his skin. Aaron opens his mouth to let the other man get access inside. Their tongues dance softly with each other. Aaron pushes him against the car and he hears the other man’s back connect with the car door. Tom’s hands wander from Aaron’s face along his arms and then rest on his hips. Their lips meet again and Aaron presses his hips against the other man’s. A soft moan escapes both of their mouths and Aaron doesn’t want to stop. They break their kiss a couple of seconds later and rest their forheads together for a bit. Both men’s breathing is rapid and Aaron softly runs his tongue along his lips still tasting the other man.

Aaron takes a step back shily looking on the floor.

“That was … wow.“ Tom whispers and lifts Aaron’s head with his finger, so their eyes meet.

Aaron blinks nervously and scratches at his beard. “Yeah it was.“

„So- …“ Aaron awkwardly waves around with his hands. “You up for a burger and a drink?“

Tom nods. “Yeah to be honest I made up a bit of an appetite now.“

Both men laugh out loud and get in the car together. Aaron takes the man to his favorite Burger place. He hasn’t been here for a while so he’s excited to have his favorite burger. They chat and eat their burgers.

“This is a really great place, thanks for taking me here.“ Tom rubs his finger over Aaron’s chin. “You got a bit of ketchup there.“

“What are you doing this christmas?“ Aaron takes a sip of his drink and looks at the other man with big eyes.

He sees him swallow and nervously fidgeting with his sleeves. “Might visit my parents new years day but other than that nothing. Probably sleep.

“We’re always having this big Dingle christmas, it’s silly but funny too and you could – you could come too if you want? The more the better?“ 

The waitress appears suddenly and cleans off the table.

“I’d – I’d really like it if you’d come. So?“ Aaron asks again.

“Yeah?“ Tom’s face lights up.

“Yeah.“ Aaron puts his hand over the other man’s hand and rubs the skin softly.

“I guess I could come. Is that alrigth with Ara and your family though?“

Aaron grips the other man’s hand tighter. “Everyone would love to have you around. Be careful of my uncle Cain though he’s got an attitute.“ Aaron laughs.

“I’ll keep that in mind.“ Tom chuckles.

They pay their bill and Aaron drives Tom back home. He stops the car in the drive way and turns the engine off. 

He watches Tom unbuckle his seatbelt.

“Thanks this was a really nice surprise and a good day, I really enjoyed it.“

The other man turns around and Aaron sees those cute crinkles around his mouth and feels this warmth again which runs all over his body.

“Me too.“

“Right.“ Aaron coughs.

Tom moves forward and leans over to him, his eyes are fixated on his lips and he hesitates a bit but then he presses his lips gently on Aaron’s. It’s electric and Aaron’s body reacts immediately to it. His hands find the other man’s neck and he pulls him towards himself. He opens his mouth and Tom softly runs his tongue along his lip. It feels good and Aaron catches the other man’s tongue with his own. Their contact breaks and Tom looks at him with lustful eyes. Aaron’s hands get sweaty and he feels hot all of a sudden. Tom once more kisses him, this time gently and slow.

He moves back and smiles. “See you Aaron.“ 

Tom gets out of the car and waves at him before he closes the door to his flat.

Aaron puts his hands on his cheeks. Did this really just happen? He touches his lips and he feels that rush again. He hadn’t felt like this for a long time. It feels strange, in a good way though. His feelings and emotions are on overload and he has to take some deep breaths to calm himself down. He just sits there a couple of minutes but then turns on the engine and drives home with a smile on his face and warmth in his heart.


	9. Have yourself a merry little (hot) christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again this is unbeta'd so there might be grammar mistakes and the tenses might be mixed up sometimes, I am sorry for that. I tried. Hope you still enjoy reading it and let me know what you think and if I should keep on writing, thanks! <3

“Do you think I got the right mince pie?“ Tom waves the pie in front of Aaron’s face.

Aaron’s busy finishing the last of Ara’s braids. She wants her braids with red bows in it or she wouldn’t go to the Christmas party.

“Alright that’s it, christmas princess is ready.“ He pats his daughters head softly.

She puts her hands on her waist and frowns. “I’m no princess. I’m christmas wonder woman.“

Aaron waves his hands in defense and laughs. “Alright, alright miss christmas wonder woman.“

Ara runs off to get her coat, singing christmas songs loudy.

Aaron walks over to where Tom is standing. He still staring at the mince pie nervously. He touches the other man’s shoulder and smiles at him.

“It’s fine, don’t worry.“

Tom tries to smile but Aaron can see how nervous he is.

“You sure?“

Aaron laughs. “Yeah. Seriously, it’s gonna be fine. They’ll like you. Just don’t mention wellys or anything.“

Tom looks confused and Aaron laughs again.

Ara comes back already wearing her coat. “Let’s go, lets go.“

She grabs Aaron’s and Tom’s hand to pull them out of the door. Both men quickly grab their jackets and leave the mill.

It’s cold and snowy outside. Ara jumps around in the snow, singing jingle bells loudly. The village looks beautiful covered in snow. Christmas lights shininig every where.

Aaron woke up this morning with a warm feeling and Ara jumping up and down on his bed. They have a small christmas tree in the living room and Aaron had put all the presents under it. His daughter couldn’t wait to open them all. He’d invited Tom for a christmas breakfast and they sat together for ages and just talked and looked at Ara’s new presents. Aaron felt good and even looking at Robert’s foto, wishing him a happy christmas in his mind. didn’t hurt as much.

Now on their way to the Dingle christmas he still has that warm calm feeling inside him. He might even say he’s happy. He looks over to his daughter throwing snow balls at Tom. The other man throwing snow back. Ara hits him right on the nose and he runs after her lifting her up and throws her around in the air. She giggles and Tom laughs. It’s a beautiful sight and Aaron wants to watch it forever. The next snowball hits Aaron on the shoulder. Ara and Tom yell loudly. He smiles and runs after them. It’s the first christmas he didn’t wake up crying.

Chas opens the door and Eve immediately grabs Ara’s hands and pulls her in.

“Ara look what I got for christmas.“ The girls run off to the living room together.

“You coming in?“ Chas looks at the two men and points towards the living room.

Aaron takes Tom’s hand and squeeze it softly. He can feel him shiver slightly. He pulls both of them forward and they move into the house togehter.

Tom turns towards Chas. “I got some mince pie.

Chas smiles with flushed cheeks, she probably has had one or two snowballs already. “Thank you that’s very kind and it’s my fave.“

Aaron chuckles and winks at Tom.

Next thing the two men are dragged over to the couch and get put on paper hats on their head. Chas hands them two beers. Ara and Eve are running around the room in their new christmas dresses. Marlon appears with the turkey and everything‘s just wild and loud and happy. They sit next to each other at the dinner table and laugh when Cain tries to cut the turkey. Aaron looks at the other man. Tom has that soft smile on his face Aaron loves so much. He wants to dig his fingers in the other mans dimples around his mouth. Aarons gaze wanders over the dinner table. Everyone’s having a good time and he feels happy. He’s not holding back anymore he lets to love and christmas vibe surround him fully.

Cain places the first piece of meat on Tom’s plate and looks at him serious. “You treat him right or you gotta deal with this lot, got me?“

Tom nods hard and his shoulders tense a bit. Cain laughs and claps his shoulders.

Aaron rolls his eyes at Cain. “Really?“

Everyone bursts out into laughter and Ara and Eve start singing a christmas song again.

Aaron puts his hand on Tom‘s knee under the table. “I am glad you’re here tonite“.

Tom looks up and puts a hand over Aaron’s. “Me too.“

They enjoy their dinner and afterwards sit in the living room together watching the kids open up more presents. Tom got Ara a big plush unicorn and the two girls run around with it, playing fairies.

Aaron feels warm and happy and leans back on the couch. Tom’s got his arm around him and it feels nice.

Suddenly Ara runs over to them and stops in front of the couch holding a present towards Aaron.

“Look Daddy this one says your name on it. Open it, open it.“ She waves the present in front of him and almost drops it.

Aaron looks confused around but grabs the present and carefully opens it. It’s a photo in a silver frame with his name engraved. It shows him and his favorite car he got to drive when he was out with Tom.

Aaron looks over to Tom.

“I know it’s nothing special but you were so excited to drive that car and I wanted you to have a memory.“

Without thinking Aaron leans over and kisses Tom.

Cain whistles loudly from somewhere behind them and cheers and the two man smile into their kiss.

When they part they look around awkwardly and Aaron runs his fingers through his hair.

“I didn’t get you anything.“

Tom shakes his head. “No, it’s fine don’t apologize. You gave me this christmas with your family and it means a lot.“ He whispers. “Even though you’re family is a bit weird I mean who’s got a shelf full of wellys.“

A paper plane made of christmas paper flies between the to men and startles them. “Oi watch it. It’s the holy wellys, you’ll see when you marry this grump one day.“ 

Aaron’s face falls and Tom doesn’t know where to look at.

“Daddy and Tom are gonna get married, are gonna get married.“ Ara and Eve sing in union and jump up and down.

Chas slaps Cain on the head and secretly whispers curses at him. Ara stumbles and she spills her drink all over herself and looks at Aaron with teary eyes. “I’m sorry daddy.“

Aaron lets out a loud breath and gets up. He avoids looking at Tom and grabs Ara by her hand. “It’s alright muffin, let’s get you cleaned up.“

When Aaron comes back Tom’s not sitting on the couch anymore and Aaron looks over to his mum worried.

She silently mouths a sorry and points her head towards the window in the corner. The other man’s standing there looking outside. Aaron thinks he looks sad, so he rushes over to him.

He approaches the man from behind but coughs quietly to not startle him.

“You alright?“

Tom doesn’t turn around so Aaron goes and stands himself next to the man, their shoulders slightly touching.

“I’m sorry for jumping at the mention of getting married. It’s just- …“

Tom shakes his head, still not looking at him. “Don’t apologize, I understand.“

Aaron looks out of the window. The street is white with snow and the evening moon light makes it sparkle like thousand stars. Suddenly he feels Tom grabbing his hand and lacing their fingers together.

The other man’s voice is soft. “The past won’t ever leave us, I guess.“ He looks at Aaron and he can see tears forming in his eyes. His mind wanders to Robert and Jamie.

Aaron feels the other man’s pain and grips his hand tighter. “I guess not. But with you on my side things are brighter and I can see a future again.“

Tom squeezes his hand in return. “Yeah, you make everything better.“

Aaron moves forward and kisses the other man gently on the lips. “So do you.“

“Normally I’d go to Jamie’s grave on christmas.“ Tom’s still holding his hand. “But I don’t know…“

“Do you want me to come with you?“ Aaron asks honest.

The other man’s face is unreadable and Aaron hopes he didn’t overstep it.

“I- … I don’t know. Wouldn’t that be weird for you?“

Tom glances over to him and Aaron sees a tiny tear spill over and run down his cheek. He catches it with his finger and wipes it away.

“No if you want to go, I’ll come with you.“ Aaron rubs his scruffy chin. “Only if you want me to though.“

The man grabs his shoulder and turns him around towards him. He throws his arms around him and rests his head in Aaron’s neck. “It’d mean a lot to me if you’d come. I don’t want to push you though.“ 

Aaron softly runs his fingers down the other man’s back. “I want to come. Honest.“

Aaron asks his mum to look out for Ara who happily obliges. “Drive carefully though in this weather. And don’t worry about Ara, surely she’s up for a christmas sleepover.“ She winks at him and Aaron quickly gives Ara a kiss on the head and tells her to behave and listen to Nana Chas.

Tom gets their coats and they walk over to the mill, where Aaron’s car is parked. The drive to the cemetery is quiet, both men in their thoughts. It’s a good kind of quiet though. It’s the first time Aaron goes to Jamie’s grave with Tom. He felt like an intruder before and isn’t sure if Tom’s really ok with him being there now.

It starts snowing again and the wind blows coldly in their faces as they walk into the cemetery. Aaron’s cheeks burn but he’s not sure if it’s because he’s cold or nervous.

They stop in front of the grave and Tom brushes some snow off the head stone. He’s not saying anything just standing there. Aaron puts his hand gently on the other man’s back but stays in the background. He feels the other man shaking slightly. Tom then turns around and throws himself into Aaron’s arms. He shaking violently now and Aaron can feel the wetness of the other man’s tears on his cheek. They stand there like this for a bit. Aaron’s arms wrapped around him tightly. After a couple of minutes the men break their hug and Tom rubs his hand over his face.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to cry on you.“

Aarons shakes his head and smiles softly. “It’s alright.“

He suddenly holds a red rose in his hand and gives it to Tom.

“For Jamie.“

Tom looks confused but his eyes light up and there’s a smile on his face. “Where did you get this?

Aaron awkwardly moves his foot in the snow. “Nicked it fromt he banquet at the entrance, didn’t I.“

“Aaron!“ Tom chuckles.

The man takes the rose and puts it on the head stone. He hooks his arm into Aaron’s and both men look at the grave.

“Merry christmas Jamie.“ Aaron whispers.

They walk back to the car slowly. The snow starts to fall heavier and both men can feel their clothes get damp. When they arrive at the car Tom grabs both of Aaron’s hands and pulls him closer for a kiss. Their noses touch softly when they part and their eyes lock for a moment. They can hear the choir sing in the church nearby. Tom cups Aaron’s cheek softly and rubs his finger along his scruffy jaw.

“Merry christmas Aaron.”

Aaron puts his hand over the other man’s and holds it there.

“Merry christmas Tom.“

Aaron feels a shudder run down his spine because of the damp clothes sitting on his body.

“Guess we should get changed before we head back to the party.“

Tom laughs and nods.

Aaron drives the car carefully back to the mill and both men walk inside.

Aaron starts undressing himself while walking over to put the kettle on. They’re both cold and the warm tea will warm them up.

“Just gonna make a quick tea so we can warm up a bit.“

He turns around and sees the other man still standing at the door.

He has a sheepish grin on his face. Aaron looks confused at him. “What?“

“Just having a dejavu with us, changing our clothes an all. Remember the first time you got me to change my clothes?“

Aaron lets out a loud laugh. “Yeah I do. You were standing there in the rain and I was so annoyed at first but I couldn’t let you stand there alone.“

He walks over to where the other man’s standing at the door.

“So you couldn’t resist me then.“ Tom teases.

“Maybe. Or you’re just a pain in the arse that can’t be ignored.“ Aaron grins.

He‘s standing in front of the other man now. Tom’s eyes sparkle and he feels this incredible strong pull towards him. He grabs him by the lapels of his jacket and kisses him. Pushes his tongue into his mouth hard and Tom lets out a loud moan.

“Woah.“

Their kiss breaks but Tom dives back in and lets his tongue run along his lip.

Aaron blushes and looks lustful at the other man. He opens the zip of the other man’s jacket and pushes it off his shoulder. He starts unbuttoning the other man’s shirt slowly, letting his finger tips wander over the exposed skin. Aaron feels hot and cold at the same time. The feeling of lust and want overwhelming him. When all buttons of the shirt are open he takes in the sight of the other man. The shirt still covers most of the Tom’s body but Aaron can see his hard nipples. His stomach muscles twitch slightly. The other man grabs the hem of his shirt and pulls it over his head quickly. It lands on the floor in heap next to their feet. Aaron remembers his scars and all of a sudden feels self conscious, almost wanting to back away but the other man puts his hands flat on his chest. His hands feel hot against his skin. He looks at Tom and sees lust and so much love there. He puts his hands over Tom’s and they kiss passionately. Aaron pushes his shirt off his shoulders and drags the other man over to the couch. They fall over the armpit and Tom lands on Aaron. It takes their breath away for a second. Tom steadies himself, hands on Aaron’s chest. He looks at him with big eyes.

“Hey beautiful.“

Aaron blushes and moves his head to the side but the other man quickly moves forward and kisses him again. They keep on kissing each other, desperately and Aaron can feel the other man’s hard on rubbing against his thigh. His own cock feels trapped in his jeans and he wishes the other man would do something about it. Tom stops kissing him and runs his tongue down Aaron’s chin to his throat and gently sucks on it. He lets his mouth play with the skin on his neck for a while and Aaron throws his head back, moaning loudly. He grabs the other man’s arse and squeezes it, to motivate him to go further. Tom lets his tongue run down over his collarbone now and rolls Aarons nipple between his index finger and thumb. Aaron closes his eyes and bites hard on his lip. He’s grunting heavily and his breath comes in short rasps.

“Everything about you is so beautiful.“

Aaron takes in a deep breath not being able to say anything. Tom strokes his fingers softly a long of one of his scars. “Every inch of you.“ A sudden flash of inconfidence hits Aaron but Tom moves his lips to his side and kisses the spot right under his ribs and Aaron can’t help but chuckle because it tickles. Aaron can’t stop and starts grinding his hips against the other man.

Tom laughs. “Desperate are we?“ He moves his body down to Aaron’s legs and rubs his hands over Aaron’s groin.

“God, you’re such a tease, please.“ Aaron gets out during short breaths.

He feels like he might explode anytime soon if the other man didn’t get his hands on his cock.

Tom opens Aarons’s belt and shoves down his jeans just a bit so his cock is on display. He keeps on stroking him with his hands but soon replaces them with his mouth softly sucking on Aaron‘s boxers. Aaron wriggles underneath him and moans loudly.

„Please, please!“ He’s screaming now and pushing Tom’s face towards his cock. The other man laughs loudly but pushes down Aaron’s boxers and his hard cock pops out.

“Look at you.“ 

He licks around the head of Aaron’s cock and Aaron’s almost losing it. Tom licks circles around the slit with his tongue and sucks on it a couple of times.

“Fuck I’m gonna- …”

Tom grips Aaron by the hips to keep him in place and takes all of his cock into his mouth. Aaron wants to thrust into the other man’s mouth but can’t because he holds him in place, fingers digging into his hips. He feels like he’s going insane when he feels the other man sucking and licking and moving his tongue around his cock. A couple of more pumps with Tom’s mouth and Aaron spills down the other man’s throat. 

Aaron thinks he blacks out for a second because he can’t feel anything anymore. His breathing is harsh and he’s shaking. Everything feels too hot and he keeps on pushing his cock into the other man’s mouth. His breathing calms down after a while and he opens his eyes to look at Tom and the other man still has his cock in his mouth. He smiles around it and Aaron can’t help but laugh.

“This was just wow.”

Tom lets go of Aaron’s cock and it comes out of his mouth with a loud plop. 

“You taste so good Aaron.”

Aaron blushes and puts his arm over his eyes. “Fuck, the thing you do with your tongue.”

Tom moves forwards and rubs his body over Aaron’s. He’s still in his jeans and the material irritates Aaron’s skin. Aaron puts his arm away and hugs the other man, pressing his body onto him. He kisses him and softly sucks on his earlobe. 

Aaron wants more.

“Go on.” He whispers softly. His voice still hoarse from all the moaning and screaming.

Tom looks at him surprised. “You mean?!”

Aaron nods. “I want to feel you. Inside me.”

Tom’s face gets serious for a second. “Are you sure? We don’t have to rush.”

Aaron lunges forward and kisses him hard. “Lube is in the kitchen drawer.”

Tom smiles and gets up. Aaron wriggles himself out of his jeans and boxers. He is all naked now and lies himself back down on the couch. Tom comes back and takes of his jeans. 

He gets back on the couch and leans over Aaron’s face to kiss him once more. Aaron feels the other man’s fingers circling his hole. Soft strokes around it. Tom moves backwards and puts Aaron’s legs in the air. He licks along his inner thighs and pushes Aaron’s arse cheeks open so he can lick around the puckered flesh there. He dives his tongue in and Aaron lets out a whimper. Tom looks at him to makes sure he’s ok and Aaron smiles back. The other man takes his time to open him up. Slow licks and later two fingers follow into his hole. After a couple of minutes he can’t take it any longer and moves his arse up and down. Tom gets the hint and rubs his cock a couple of times and then slowly pushes into Aaron.

“Oh god, this is so good.”

He pushes his cock in and out a couple of times. His hands holding Aaron’s legs apart. Aaron just lies there looking at the other man in awe. It feels so good and he can’t but moan loudly when the other man hits his prostate over and over again. Aaron’s cock has grown hard again and he pumps it with his own hands.

“Fuck Aaron, I’m coming.”

Tom screams out loud when his orgasm hits him. Hearing the other man come makes Aaron spill all over himself again.

It’s messy and hot and Aaron hasn’t felt that good for a while. Tom opens his eyes again and pulls his cock out of Aaron. He winces a bit because he doesn’t want him to get out so quickly.

The blonde man collapses forwards and digs his hands under Aaron’s back. He wraps him in and smells sweat and sex and he wants to do this all over again.

“Holy shit.”

They change positions and might have dosed off for a bit. Aaron’s head is resting on Tom’s chest now and he can feel the steady, still a bit fast, heartbeat of the other man against his back. They’re still both naked but he’s not feeling cold. The opposite actually. His skin feels hot, his chest moves up and down still too quick and he‘s trying to regular his breathing back to normal. They’re tangled into each other trying to not fall off the couch. His back is pressed onto the other man’s chest and he’s got his arms around him. Aaron moves a bit and Tom’s cock rubs against his arse. It makes his cock twitch again. His one sock is half hanging on his right foot and he kicks it off on the floor. He can feel Tom’s fingers run along his ribs like he’s playing a piano. It tickles him and a quiet moan escapes him. They haven’t said anything since they both came at the same time screaming loudly. Aaron feels like he’s run a marathon. It’s been a while since he had this. Tom’s chin is resting on his head and he can feel his now calmer breath on his hair. The blonde man’s fingers wanders over to his chest and hovers over one of Aaron’s bigger scars. It makes his breath stutter and he wants to pull away.

“Sorry.“ Tom let his hand rest on his chest.

“It’s ok.“ Aaron takes deep breath and interlaces their fingers lying on his chest. “It’s just – it’s been a while since someone else has seen them.“

He can feel Tom move behind him, hold him tighter. He guesses Tom put two and two together and knows that those scars don’t look like an accident. He feels shame bubbling up in his chest.

“How? No sorry I shouldn’t.“

Aaron squeezes the other man’s hand and swallows hard. “It’s a longer story.“

“You don’t have to tell me, it’s fine I shouldn’t have asked.“ He hears Tom whisper.

Aaron strains his head backwards so he can look at Tom. His eyes are soft and he looks worried.

“I will tell you, but not today.“

He leans over and kisses at the other man’s chin. Tom chuckles and puts tiny kisses on his forehead.

“Of course, whatever you need.“

Aaron can still see the worry in Tom’s eyes and wants to take it away. He hasn’t hurt himself for a long while, he is fine.

“I’m not doing it anymore. Haven’t for a while.

Tom nods. “I’m glad.“

Aaron lifts himself up and turns himself around so their bellies touch and he’s lying on top of the other man now.

“Hi.“ Tom smiles.

“Hi yourself.“

Tom grabs him by the neck and pulls him towards himself. Their lips connect and Aaron can feel himself getting hard again. The other man notices and laughs into their kiss.

All of a sudden Aaron’s phone makes a noise and lights up with a new message. He looks at the clock and remembers that they promised to come back right after the cemetery.

“Oh man they gonna wonder where we are.“

Aaron shuffles backwards letting his fingers run over Tom’s sweaty chest. He grabs his phone and checks the message. It’s from his mum, saying the kids are already asleep and Aaron can pick up Ara tomorrow. She’s added a winking smile and fire emoji at the end of the text. He laughs.

“Everything alright? We need to go?“

Aaron looks back at the other man taking in the beautiful sight. Tom sits himself up and looks up at Aaron with shiny eyes. He can see the other man’s lust and want. Tom grabs Aaron by his waist and licks along his belly button.

“You still got some cum here.“ He licks it off and puts his tongue back into his mouth teasingly.

“So shower is it then?“ Aaron looks questioning at the other man.

“Nah.“ He hears Tom say and suddenly feels the other man’s mouth around his already half hard cock and he stumbles backwards a bit. The man grabs his arse cheeks and pulls him back. His mouth still surrounding Aaron’s cock. He keeps on pumping it with his mouth.

Aaron sees stars and comes into Tom’s mouth a couple of minutes later.

Merry fucking christmas Aaron.


	10. We are family; past and future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again this is unbeta'd so there might be grammar mistakes and the tenses might be mixed up sometimes, I am sorry for that. I tried. Hope you still enjoy reading it and let me know what you think and if I should keep on writing, thanks! <3

Aaron slowly blinks his eyes open. The sun peeks through the curtains and he sees snowflakes falling down, like their dancing through the cold winter air. They paint tiny ice flowers on the window. He has to blink a couple of more times to get his sight back into focus. He feels a rush of could running over his body. He’s still naked under the covers and he has to grin at himself. He hears someone shuffle around next to him and he turns his head to the right. Tom’s lying next to him, his head propped up on his hand. He looks at Aaron with bright eyes.

“Morning.“ Tom says, voice still a bit rough from sleep.

“You watching me sleep?“ Aaron frowns but it turns into a smile.

“You’re beautiful.“

Aaron blushes and suddenly remembers that he’s still naked. The duvet slips down a bit and his chest is exposed. Tom hadn’t reacted badly when he’d seen his scars yesterday but Aaron still feels vunerable and insecure when they’re on show and someone else can see them. He grabs the duvet and pulls it back over his chest. Tom lays his hand over Aaron‘s and softly pushes the duvet down again.

“You are beautiful Aaron, I mean it.“

Aaron looks away but the other man gently grabs his chin and makes him look directly in his eyes.

“You never have to hide from me ok? I love you the way you are. All perfections and all imperfections.“

Aaron feels this warmth spreading inside him and he turns his body so they lie opposite of each other. Their chests are almost touching and Aaron can feel the other man’s breath on his lips. He moves his head forward and their lips connect. It’s a soft kiss and when they part Tom has this big smile on his face.

Aaron coughs, blushing a bit. “I want to tell you why I have them.“ He plays with the corners of the duvet, anxiety building up in his chest.

Tom nods. “If that‘s what you want, you know I’d never push you.“

Aaron looks at Tom’s scar on his neck. It’s fully healed now but still dark red and standing out against his pale skin. Aaron lets his finger run along it. It goes from under his ear down over his neck to his collar bone.

The other man softly rubs his arm. “We all have scars, don‘t we?“

“Yeah but I did mine - to myself.“ He looks at Tom and expects him to look away in disgust or say something awful but all he can see is concern and love in the other man’s eyes.

“I’m sorry that something hurt you so much that you felt like doing this.“ Tom whispers and keeps on rubbing his arm.

It grounds him and the anxiety he felt before faints into distance and he can barely feel it anymore.

“My fa – my father abused me when I was kid.“ He lets out a loud breath. Tears spill into his eyes and he squeezes them shut. “I couldn’t cope with it, so I took it out on myself.“

He feels Tom shuffle closer to him and putting his arms around him. He holds him tight and embraces him with his fully body. Aaron’s tears dry and he opens his eyes again. Tom let’s go off him but keeps on holding his hand.

“I’m sorry Aaron, I’m so sorry.“

Aaron nods. “I’m ok, I learned to live with it.“ He looks down at his scars. “I’m not doing this anymore.“

“I’m glad. But what if you feel- …“ Tom stops mid-sentence.

“I’ve got my saftynet now. My mum and my counselor Karen.“ Aaron reasures the other man.

“That’s great Aaron.“ Tom leans over and kisses his shoulder gently.

“So you’re not disgusted by me?“ Aaron looks unsure, one eye brow rising up.

“No, course I’m not. I think you’re amazing and very brave.“

Aaron blushes again. He remembers Tom‘s words from before. “You, you just said you love me.“

Tom looks at him. “I do.“ He starts biting his lip nervously. “You don’t have to say anything back it’s- …“

“I think – I think I’m falling in love with you too.“

He feels like a teenager again, butterflies swirring around in his tummy.

“Yeah?“

Aaron suddenly moves and rolls over Tom so he’s on top of him.

“Yeah.“

The other man puts his arms around Aarons naked back. He pushes him towards himself and he kisses his way from his shoulders, over his neck to his lips. Aaron kisses him back hard. He feels the other man’s hips grind against his. There’s heat building up in his belly and he kicks the duvet off them. He grabs Tom’s hands and pins them over his head and dives in for another kiss.

Suddenly there’s noises coming from downstairs and both men stop in their tracks. A key goes in and the door is opened. They hear footsteps.

“Daddy!“

Aaron rolls himself off Tom and falls off the bed with a loud thud.

“Daddy, what are you doing up there?“

Aaron sits up on the floor, looking around for his boxer. Tom sits on the bed laughing. He nods over to the chair in the corner where they’d dumped their clothes yesterday. Aaron puts the boxers on and grabs the next jumper he can find. He half stumbles down the stairs.

“Ara what are you doing here? I thought I should come and pick- …“

He looks at his daughter standing in the living room, her coat still on and puffy red cheeks. Standing right next to her is a little boy, maybe the same age as her. It’s not the only person standing in his house. Victoria and her husband look back at him with a shy smile.

“Merry christmas Aaron.“ Victoria breaks the silence first. “Sorry we meant to call you but we decided this very spontaneous and Ara couldn’t wait to show Adrian her room.“

Aaron doesn’t know what to say. He suddenly remembers he’s standing there only in his boxers and a jumper.

“Sorry if we did interrupt you.“ Her eyes go soft and it painfully reminds him of Robert. They both looked a lot like each other. “Bad idea?“

Aaron shakes himself back to reality and smiles. “No of course not. It’s great that you’re here I just didn’t expect it.“

Leon chuckles behind Vic and Aaron turns around to see Tom coming down the stairs.

Ara giggles and pulls at Aaron’s jumper. “Why are you wearing Tom’s jumper Daddy?“

He looks down at himself and just notices now that in the rush he’d put on the other man’s jumper. “Oh.“

Tom comes down the stairs and stands himself behind him. He softly pats Ara’s head. “It got dirty didn’t it. You know Daddys messy when he’s eating sometimes.“

Everyone laughs and Aaron’s face turns red.

“Why don’t you go upstairs and show Adrian your room muffin?“

The little girl grabs the boys hand and they rush up the stairs.

“So this is a surprise.“ Aaron scratches his beard. Having his past and future standing in one room together makes him feel a bit dizzy and overwhelmed. He can feel Tom’s hand against his back, steadying him.

“Right, why don’t I make a coffee and we all sit down.“ He hears Tom’s voice behind him.

“If that’s alright but we can also come another time.“ Vic nervously squeezes her husbands hand.

“No, no it’s fine please stay.“ Aaron replies quick. “Just gonna put some clothes on.“

He rushes up the stairs and walks in his bedroom. He closes the door behind him and has to take a deep breath. He didn’t expect Vic to come around. The rush of dizziness is gone and his chest isn‘t hurting any longer after he takes some deep breaths once more. He goes and puts his jeans on. On his way downstairs he looks into Ara‘s room to see the two kids play happily.

When he comes downstairs everyone‘s already sitting at the kitchen table with their coffees. He walks in and sits down next to Tom.

Victoria laughs and looks from Aaron to Tom and back.

“So what’s new?“

Aaron coughs slightly and looks at Leon. “Hows that car coming along?“

“I’ve still got trouble with the accelator cable but I’m on it. You’re welcome to help me though when you’ve got time for a visit?“ He replies quick and smiles.

Vic rolls her eyes but smiles. “Men and cars don’t know what that’s about?“

Tom chuckles. “Don’t ask me. My car always gives up on me. Thank god I’ve got Mr Mechanic over here to help me out when I’m in trouble.“ He gently puts his hand on Aaron’s shoulder.

“Oh, so you two?“ Vics eyes grow wide.

Aaron bites his lip and feels himself getting nervous. “It’s all really new.“

He feels Tom squeeze his shoulder. It grounds Aaron and calms him down.

Vic smiles. “How did you two meet? Is he your failed date then?“

„Vic!“ Aaron huffs and shuffles around on his chair.

Tom laughs. “Yeah that’s me. But we just couldn’t let go of each other couldn’t we? Kept on bumping into each other all the time.“

Aarons face softens when he thinks about the first time they met. It’s been a funny journey of them finding together.

Suddenly they hear the kids yelling from upstairs and Victoria orders Leon and Tom to have a look at them.

She gets up and sits herself next to Aaron. Her eyes are dark brown and soft. She puts her hand over his. “I’m happy for you.“

“Vic- …“ Aaron tries to move his hand away but Vic holds him in place.

“No it’s fine. You deserve this Aaron and I’m really happy for you. Tom seems like a really nice person and between us, he’s fit.“ She laughs.

“Yeah, he is.“ Aaron moves around nervously on his chair.

Vics face turns serious and he can see tears well up in her eyes. “He’s made his decision.“ She looks over to the fridge where she knows is Roberts photo, still. “Now you make yours.“ 

She leans over and hugs him. He hesitates for a bit but then burries his head in her neck. He feels himself getting wet eyes and a tear runs down his cheek. Victoria rubs his back gently.

“I want you to be happy Aaron.“

They break the hug just then the kids and two men make their way downstairs.

Tom looks over to them with concerned eyes. He walks over and puts a hand on Aaron’s shoulder. “You alright?“

Aaron gets up and kisses him. “Yeah I’m alright just a bit emotional to have everyone here.“

The other man kisses him back and smiles.

“What about we head all over to the pub. The family will gather together again to eat the left overs from christmas day, you up for it? I’m sure Eve would love to see you.

“Sounds good yeah.“ Vic nods.

Everyone gets their coats and they walk over to the pub. The kids throw snowballs and run around and it’s so lovely to see Ara with Adrian. There was a time Aaron was scared to look at Adrian and what he reminded him off. But the boy owned his heart after some cuddles and babysitting. He was angry at himself for a long time that he even thought like this but seeing him now makes him happy. The little boy looks like Vic. He remembers her gobby kid-self and sees so many similiarties in Adrian.

Chas opens the door and this loud screech comes out of her mouth when she runs over to Vic and hugs hers.

“Oh wow that’s a surprise. This years christmas is so special.“

She takes Vic hands in hers and musters her. “You look great Victoria.“

Leon and Chas shake hands before she goes over to hug Adrian. “Proper little man you are now. Rigth in you go, foods ready.“

She takes Ara’s hand and shoves everyone inside.

Aaron just stands there and stares at the open pub door.

Tom turns around. “You coming?“

Aaron nods and walks over to the other man. He grabs his arm and turns him around fully so they face each other.

“Thank you.“

Tom has this big smile on his face and it’s infectious.

“For what?“

Aaron leans forward and kisses him gently on the mouth. Tom puts his hands on his chest and rests them there.

“Being there for me and all this family stuff.“

Tom lets out a loud laugh and Aaron frowns in confusion.

“You’re just the cutest.“

“I am not.“ Aaron scoffs.

“Yeah you are.“ Tom looks him deep in the eyes and lifts his hand of Aarons chest to touch his face. He cups his cheek and lets his finger run along it. “You mean a lot to me Aaron. This christmas was just amazing. So thank you too.“

Aaron pulls Tom closer and puts his arms around his shoulder. Their faces are inches away from each other and he can feel the other man‘s breath on his lips.

He so softly puts his mouth on the other mans lips and feels him take in a breath. He holds him tighter, wants to take him all in. Tom‘s hands found their way to his waist and he pushes his whole body towards him.

Aaron suddenly hears a cough and lets go of Tom to see his Mum standing in the door with an apologeptic look on her face.

“Sorry.“ She whispers.

Tom steps next to Aaron, face all red. “Right we better get a place on that table before everyone‘s eaten all to food.“

He walks past Chas and Aaron see them smile at each other.

Aaron follows Tom but his Mum stops him. She’s got tears in her eyes but smiles softly.

“Mum?“

She rolls her eyes and blinks so the tears won’t fall. She kisses his cheek. “It’s nothing just happy having you here and seeing you smile. Seeing you happy.“

She looks at him for a while longer and he feels himself blush. He nods and quickly takes her hand to get inside.


End file.
